


Sugar and Spice

by ProspertheXVIII, veronicasanders



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Female Character, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Female Friendship, Female-Centric, Femslash, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, High School, Lesbian Character, Musical References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2019-09-21 09:56:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17041571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProspertheXVIII/pseuds/ProspertheXVIII, https://archiveofourown.org/users/veronicasanders/pseuds/veronicasanders
Summary: We hope you enjoy this new high school lesbian AU. We're describing it as Mean Girls meets West Side Story. When we begin, Season 6 girls (led by Adore) and Season 7 girls (led by Violet) are in the middle of an epic feud. And Bianca has a crush that's driving her crazy...





	1. Prologue/Chapter 1

** THE LONG LONG AGO (SEVENTH GRADE) **

It wasn’t like Bianca expected to be Miss Popularity. She just thought that maybe she’d meet a couple of kids who were funny, or interesting, or who maybe would want to eat lunch with her. But instead of seventh grade starting with tentative friendships, it has started with an English class where she knew no one. Not a single kid from her elementary school was there. Not that it would have mattered. It wasn’t like she had tons of friends there, either. But a familiar face or two would have been a relief.

And worse, all of the other kids seemed to have known each other forever, because they were all from Hillside, the bougie elementary school on the other side of town. So when Mrs. Thompson told them to get into groups of three, she started looking around with a feeling of mild nausea, hoping to catch someone’s eye. Anyone’s eye.

“Quick, find someone cool. Not that weird loud girl with the ugly red polo.”

Bianca felt her cheeks burning. Surely it wasn’t  _that_ ugly? She turned around to face the snarky brunette, Adore something. A Hillsider, of course. In a metal band shirt that was full of holes (which had probably been there when she’d bought it) tied at her waist; black denim skirt sitting at her hips, leaving a couple of inches of midsection and a pierced belly button on show - clearly making an effort to show the tacky piece of jewelry off. The whole thing stank of trying too hard, in a way that was trying desperately to not look as though it was trying. Bianca’s own thought process confused her, but she didn’t deny that it was true.

“What did you just say?” Bianca asked her.

“I was just telling my friend Courtney that I don’t want to work with you. See, you seem like you have a really... _big_ personality, and so do I...” Adore shrugged. When Bianca got a good look at Courtney, a tiny blonde in space buns, pink shortalls, and (presumably nonfunctional) glittery glasses with a bow in the corner, she actually felt offended. Her polo shirt and red pleated skirt were deemed ugly, but this Lisa Frank fever dream was acceptable? “I just think we’d like, clash,” Adore finished.

“Oh...okay. Well, that’s…” Bianca’s mind raced, and her cheeks burned. Why did this girl make her feel like such a freak? “That’s fine. What’s your name again?”

Courtney began to giggle, but stopped when Adore shot her a death glare.

“Dela! Come work with us!” Adore shouted to a dark-haired girl with Bettie bangs and a fuschia headband sitting in the front row. “This is great. You know she’ll just do all the work,” she added quietly to Courtney.

Bianca swallowed, wondering how she’d already made an enemy, twenty minutes into class. Courtney caught her eye and gave her a sly wink, causing her heart to leap into her throat. What the hell was this day?

****  
  
Having spent the ten minutes in the car on the way home hunched in the backseat with her headphones in, very deliberately trying to ignore any attempt that Roy was making at talking to her, Bianca didn’t feel like giving up the act once she actually got home. Granted, she felt like garbage - Roy only had a few days left at home before moving out for college, and she felt obliged to make the most of it (he was about the only one of her siblings that she could fully tolerate) but at the same time, no part of her wanted to put on a show and pretend that everything was fine. And equally as little of her wanted to subject him to her teen angst whining. So she’d stomped straight up to her room, slammed the door, thrown her backpack at the wall, and then sat on her floor locked in a silent staring contest with her ceiling fan for about ten minutes.

Besides, today hadn’t been outright _dreadful_. Her teachers were fine, the other kids seemed nice enough, and hardly anybody had been awful to her. Hell, she’d only had one person pick up on how outwardly weird she was, and that hadn’t even fully been to her face. She had no reason to be as down as she was about it.

But that didn’t change the fact that that Adore bitch’s words had spent so much time wearing her down as she replayed them over and over in her head that she’d hardly spoken to another kid all day in fear of her ‘big personality’ scaring them off. Or that she’d eaten her lunch alone because when she’d been about to ask if she could sit with somebody, the words had caught in her throat and refused to come out - and that had probably never happened to her before in her life. In fact, she could probably count the number of words she’d said to people her own age throughout the day on both hands. And for some reason, it felt like things were only going to get worse.

“Hey B, you alright in there?” She heard Roy’s voice on the other side of the door - miraculously over the sound of the vacuum, and her younger sister having a screaming match with their dad downstairs; sounds which Bianca had somehow been entirely blocking out until Roy had brought her back down to planet earth. Why was her house always so goddamn loud?

Her first instinct had been to say something - to just melt, spill everything, cry like the giant baby she was being. But she bit it back.

“Bianca?” He persisted. “You okay?”

She sniffed. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I said I’m _fine!_ ” she screeched, hurling a shoe at the door, then collapsing back onto her bed in tears.

 

** CHAPTER 1 - PRESENT DAY (JUNIOR YEAR) **

Bianca shut her locker and turned around, sighing. It was barely a week into school and she was already desperately counting down the days until summer. Something about the generally oppressive atmosphere, she supposed.

Summer had been...well, not exactly the stuff of pop music, but for once, she felt like she was part of things. There were beach bonfires and outdoor concerts, pool parties and sleepovers. Her part-time job at Jamba Juice, which happened to result in quite a few visits from a certain blonde.

She wasn’t a moron. It wasn’t that she thought she actually had a chance. She knew that Courtney was into boys. Tall, handsome, preppy boys with perfect skin and winning smiles - mostly athletes - the kind that would look great in a prom photo. Boys who tackled her in the sand and kissed her in the food court and wrapped her in their oversized sweatshirts when the air turned chilly at night.

But sometimes, when she was leaning over the counter ordering her smoothie, or resting a head on Bianca’s shoulder as movies played on Dela’s new big-screen TV, or dragging her onto Adore’s trampoline, sometimes for an instant, Bianca could pretend. Pretend that it was something more, that she lived in a world where she could confess her feelings and they’d kiss under the fireworks, epic and magical, and then this year would’ve started with Bianca being the one to hold her hand in the hallways and tug playfully on her hair when she got sassy, earning one of those heart-melting smiles.

Instead, the summer flew by in a haze and Bianca never said anything, because deep down she was still the chicken-shit loser that she’d always been, and now it was Fall and all that had changed was that this year, at least, she had a group of friends who had her back. So that was new, and she supposed that she should be grateful. It felt more playful when Adore called her a ‘stupid dyke’ nowadays, but it was annoying how true the statement was; not that Adore or anybody else for that matter knew it. It was too complicated to deal with that stuff now; not worth the effort. Someday, she'd go to college and maybe then she'd find the balls to ask a girl out. But for now...no fucking way.

She looked up just as Adore and Courtney came striding down the hall with linked arms, flashing grins and tossing their hair and generally making everyone either drool or seethe with jealousy, as usual. Polar opposites - Adore’s bright scarlet hair contrasting with Court’s blonde, and her shredded black jeans (or rather, what was left of them) and leather jacket next to Courtney’s tiny white shorts and sky blue fleece covering what Bianca was pretty sure was a dress code violation. Dela trailed behind them holding a huge posterboard. It was too early for any major projects to be due, so she supposed that was some kind of pre-emptive extra credit. Typical.

“Pleeeease?” Courtney wheedled, leaning her head on Adore’s shoulder and reaching out her hand.

“I offered you some earlier!” Adore replied, holding a Pop Tart just out of Courtney’s reach.

“I didn’t want it earlier,” Courtney said, batting her lashes.

“But now you want my last fuckin’ bite?”

“Yes, baby.” Courtney flashed a grin, and Adore groaned.

“Fine, here. Bitch.”

Courtney grabbed Adore’s hand and bent down to eat the Pop Tart, licking her fingers in the process, a saucy smirk on her face as Adore screeched and laughed.

Bianca felt a stab in her gut, hating the jealousy that ripped through her insides. She pretended to look away, examining her black, bitten nails with great interest.

“You’re so gross,” Adore said, wiping her hand on Courtney’s sweatshirt. She then turned to Bianca, and looked her up and down, one eyebrow raised. “Wow, someone wandered around a Hot Topic on acid this morning.”

Bianca let the barb wash over her, half-ignoring Adore’s words as she folded her arms, taking off her fingerless fishnet gloves as she went and hoping it had been discreet. She looked at the other girl with one corner of her lip curled up; a retort sitting on the tip of her tongue until she felt Courtney loop an arm around her waist, and suddenly forgot how to speak. The blonde tossed her hair over one shoulder - the action accompanied by a light, airy giggle, that platinum smile dancing about her lips. Bianca felt slightly sick.

“Don’t listen to her, B, I think you look cute,” Courtney sang, her slight Australian accent made only more apparent as her voice lilted.

Bianca’s heart hammered from the weight of Courtney’s body against her, the smile lighting up her eyes.

“Actually, she should listen to me. Because I’m the one who’s style she’s trying to mop, and maybe she could learn to do it right and look cool instead of being a conformist poser wannabe.”

“Redundant,” Dela muttered under her breath, earning a light shove from Adore.

Bianca turned back to Adore; the ability to communicate gradually coming back to her.

“At least I don’t use Kool-Aid to dye my hair.”

Adore’s eyes narrowed slightly, and for a second, Bianca could feel that all-too-familiar nervousness come back - that unsettled feeling of not belonging that never quite went away, even though they’d been hanging out for almost a year. Then Adore’s face broke out into a grin.

“Good one, bitch. Did they teach you that in your ‘Comebacks for Losers’ workshop?” she asked, adding, “And I’m happy to share the name of my colorist. You could clearly use some assistance.”

Bianca leaned back against her locker, giving her the finger as casually as possible and trying not to concentrate too much on the way in which Courtney’s body felt so naturally-fitting against the curves of her own form; it was almost as though she was a missing part of herself, like a puzzle piece. Bianca tasted puke at the back of her mouth as it occurred to her how sickly the thought had been. It meant nothing. She knew fine and well it meant nothing; that was just Courtney. She was both overly affectionate and a relentless flirt, as evidenced by the most recent licking incident. And Bianca had witnessed her drunkenly kissing nearly all of their friends - always to get the attention of some boy - enough times to know that it meant nothing. Usually it was Trinity. Last time, it had been Adore. Glassy-eyed from tequila, wrapped around the brunette in Brian’s hot tub, begging the boys to “dare us to make out.” And of course, they were happy to comply, cheering as the girls put on a show.

None of that mattered, though, when she thought about what was essentially the true crux of the matter.

Courtney would never legitimately want her, and that knowledge hurt like hell. But that didn’t stop the butterflies in her stomach every time Courtney so much as breathed in her presence. No, fuck butterflies. It felt more like her abdominal cavity was full of pissed-off wasps than anything else.

“Ugh, look who’s coming,” Adore muttered, no longer concerned with Bianca’s unacceptable taste in fashion or hair color.

“God, could she be any more basic?” Dela asked.

“No,” Adore replied flatly. “She’s always been a conformist plastic bitch, and she’ll be a conformist plastic bitch until the day she dies.”

“Hey, maybe this year, we could kill her with kindness,” Courtney suggested hopefully.

“How about not?” Adore said.

Courtney shrugged and leaned her head on Bianca’s shoulder.

“Worth a shot.”

In the entire time that Bianca had been friends with Adore’s crew, nobody had ever managed to explain why they, and most especially Adore, hated Violet and her friends so much. Something about a fight back at Hillside, their bougie elementary school, was the best Bianca got, but even that didn’t really help her understand. All she knew was, the beef was long-standing, mutual and intense. And they were all absolute assholes to each other at every opportunity.

“Hey Adore, nice _boots_ ,” Violet said with a sneer as she sailed by with a Pearl and Fame on her heels. She seemed to be dressed with the intention of her outfit immediately screaming ‘I AM RICH’ at anybody who glanced at her for more than ten seconds; designer purse too small to be particularly functional slung over one shoulder, Bardot-necked sweater and fitted skirt with a Tiffany heart around her neck. Lilac appeared to be the color du jour, based on the complimentary candy colors of Fame and Pearl behind her.

“Fuck off, you satanic bitch,” Adore snapped back, hand on her hip.

“Ooh, big words. Someone got a thesaurus this summer,” Violet laughed, continuing down the hall, snickering to Pearl. “I’m so impressed.”

“God, what is her problem?” Dela asked.

“She’s evil,” Adore said. “That’s her problem. She pretends to be all innocent and sweet but you know she probably sacrifices animals behind the country club. ”

Courtney tugged on Bianca’s sleeve, looking up at her with big soft eyes.

“Walk me to algebra?” she requested, adding softly, “This feud is so boring.”

“Excuse me, cunt, you need to have my back,” Adore said. “You know her strategy is divide and conquer, and if I don’t have you-”

“Of course I have your back, baby!” Courtney broke away from Bianca to wrap her arms around Adore’s neck, peppering her cheeks with wet kisses.

“Get offa me!” Adore laughed, clearly enjoying the attention. Bianca swallowed and looked away.

“See you at lunch, cupcake!” Courtney said with one last kiss, then reached back to grab Bianca’s arm, dragging her in the opposite direction towards her math class.

Bianca glanced over at her, and was met with a bright smile and a flutter of lashes. She gulped, hoping that her hammering heart wasn’t actually audible.

“I really hope we don’t spend the whole year obsessing about Violet, again. It’s so played out,” Courtney said.

“Yeah,” Bianca agreed tentatively. “To be honest, I don’t even really know why they hate each other. I guess it’s just a Hillsider mystery.”

“No, nobody does!” Courtney exclaimed. “All I know is that in fourth grade, they were fighting over some boy, I don’t even remember who, and got into a brawl in the bathroom. And like, that was it. I mean honestly, it’s all very hashtag whatever at this point.”

“Seems on brand for both of them,” Bianca chuckled.

“Anyway…” Courtney twirled her hair, still holding onto Bianca’s arm. “Math time. Yuck.”

“Tell Mr. Cameron hey for me.”

“Sure thing.”

Clearing her throat, Bianca began to extricate herself from Courtney’s grip. She lingered for a few more moments, earning one last dazzling smile before Courtney disappeared into her classroom. The second she was out of sight, Bianca heaved a sigh and closed her eyes, walking across the hall to her own homeroom before the bell rang.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Bianca continues to suppress her feelings, and we meet the rest of Adore’s squad.

Bianca had always hated history. It seems to her that the entire subject was about glorifying the actions of a bunch of old white men, most of whom were fairly reprehensible in every possible way.

And her AP US history was yet another example - a shitty textbook filled with obvious errors, omissions, and biases. Even though her teacher made an attempt to fill in the blanks, the result was a pretty sad whitewashing of anything potentially interesting.

But as dull and repetitive as history was, Bianca often found herself counting down the minutes as third period drew to a close. Biting the black polish off her fingernails nervously. Wishing it would last just a little longer. Because fourth period meant chemistry.

And chemistry meant Courtney.

And of course Courtney sat in front of her. Giving her a perfect view of what could only be described as her fully naked back in various halter tops straight out of a Coachella editorial spread. Assaulting Bianca with the gorgeous peachy smell of her hair as she flipped it over her shoulder, stretching long legs into the aisle as she leaned over to whisper to Trinity, or worse, turning around with glittering eyes and wandering hands to giggle and gossip with Bianca herself.

Chemistry was fucking torture.

“B...are you following any of this?” Courtney asked at one point, bent over Bianca’s sparse notes. One hand twirled a lock of blonde hair as the other rested casually on Bianca’s wrist.

“Not...especially,” Bianca gulped, trying not to get lost in her big green eyes.

“Ugh, me neither. I guess Trin will have to explain it to us at lunch.” Courtney winked and turned back around.

Bianca slowly let out the breath she’d been holding, focusing her eyes on Mr. Ramirez and his unseasonal argyle sweater vest, gleefully clicking through a powerpoint about the periodic table. Ignoring Courtney’s bare shoulders with their glowing tan, and her hair catching the sunlight that filtered in through the window.

***

“I think I’m gonna go vegan,” Courtney announced, looking around the group for either approval, attention, or both.

“Cool, sounds boring,” Adore answered, earning a giggle from Courtney, and then adding, “But if you’re gonna do it, wait until after my birthday, alright? I don’t wanna have to deal with that shit.”

Courtney saluted with her carrot stick.

“Do vegans eat chicken?” Gia wondered aloud.

“You’re an idiot,” Adore told her, elbowing Trinity in the side, both of them snickering.

“Adore, that’s not nice,” Dela admonished, adding, “She’s mentally challenged.”

Gia flipped her off, and Dela laughed, turning to Bianca for approval.

Of course, Bianca wasn’t paying attention, could barely even think for Courtney draping herself around her neck like a cat, that perfect narrow chin resting on her shoulder and arms around her. Had she always been like this? Bianca was certain that the touching had increased lately, based purely on the number of times that her mind went blank throughout the day. Was it possible that it was intentional? Bianca shook her head. She was being crazy, fantasizing as usual.

“Do you guys think I should dye my hair blue? This red feels played out.”

“You would look so cute with blue hair!” Laganja gushed.

“So cute!” Gia echoed.

“But I mean, you could pull off any color!” Laganja said quickly.

“Totes,” said Gia.

“And like-”

Adore waved her hand, dismissing them. Which meant that she’d either gotten the answer that she wanted, or had given up.

“So my cousins was telling me about this new club on Wilcox that we totally need to check out,” Adore announced. “Well, those of us with IDs.”

“I don’t want to risk getting in trouble!” Dela said.

“You’re lame,” Trinity informed her.

“Let’s go this weekend!” Gia exclaimed, and Laganja clapped her hands excitedly, squealing something about hot older guys. Or a new strain of weed. Or her math homework.

Bianca honestly had no idea. Because one of Courtney’s hands was toying with her necklace - a tiny silver calavera - studying it intently as she turned it over in her fingers. Bianca was so overcome by the scent of her hair that she could hardly breathe. She _had_ to know the kind of effect that she was having, right? The way her hair brushed against Bianca’s cheek. The way her breath tickled Bianca’s ear, making not altogether unpleasant shivers travel through Bianca’s body.

“This is so cute - is it a sugar skull?”

Bianca nodded, humming a vague sort of ‘mm-hmm’ noise by way of response.

“Cool! Is it like a traditional thing?” Courtney asked brightly.

Bianca cleared her throat. Maybe she didn’t know. Maybe she just really liked the stupid necklace.

“Not even a little - it’s from Urban Outfitters or some shit like that. I just thought it was pretty. I think Day of the Dead is more of a Mexican thing.”

“Wait, you’re _not_ Mexican?” Trinity asked, head cocked to one side.

Bianca looked at her incredulously, brow furrowed.

“No - my dad’s Honduran and my mom’s from Cuba. You fucking know that.”

“Right, so basically Mexican.” Trinity shrugged.

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Hey Adore, maybe your mom can teach us some Día De Los Muertos traditions this year. That would be really cool.” Courtney turned to the other girl, steering the conversation before Trinity unintentionally initiated a race war.

Adore scoffed, giving a muffled laugh.

“My mom is from Kansas City; she knows jack shit about any of that stuff. But she can teach you to make a casserole with a Frito crust.”

Courtney curled her lip.

“Pass.”

Adore shrugged her shoulders, blasé.

“Your loss.”

“God, look at us - we need more culture,” Courtney sighed.

“Think about it, we’re doing better than the Children of the Corn over there.” Dela raised one eyebrow, gesturing towards the Mallrats sitting in a huddle on the opposite side of the lawn. “Besides, you went to my Bat Mitzvah.”

“That’s true…”

“Court, if you really want culture, I’ll have my mom put a Santeria curse on you,” Bianca offered.

“Really?!” Courtney’s eyes lit up.

“You’re excited by that, weirdo?” Adore asked, shaking her head.

“I mean, I probably deserve it. I assume that someone in my family did much worse things to the indigenous people in Australia.”

“My mom can make æbelskivers.” Laganja interjected somewhat unhelpfully, trying to move the conversation along - only causing Trinity to look back at her with a sort of scathing confusion, brows furrowed.  
  
“Abel what-the-fuck?”

“They’re like these Danish pancake balls with raspberry sauce.”  
  
Adore looked almost horrified. “Oh no. Stay the fuck away from me with your Eurotrash carbs. I need to lose 10 pounds by homecoming.” A long, awkward pause followed this - crickets virtually audible as Adore looked between Gia, currently enthralled by the glitter on her nails, and Laganja, scrolling absentmindedly through Instagram. Adore coughed, indignant. “Uh, _hello!_ ”  
  
Gia and Laganja were suddenly brought back to life at this, erupting into a weird seagull-like chorus - Bianca unsure of who exactly was saying what as they talked over one another.  
“Oh-em-gee, no! Don’t lose weight! You’re already so skinny! You’ll die!”

Adore stood up to throw the remains of her salad in the trash, face like thunder.

“Fuck you all!”  
  
Courtney smirked, lolling her head to one side and resting it on Bianca’s shoulder as Adore returned, arms folded as she pouted like a toddler - Laganja and Gia looking cluelessly between each other trying to figure out what they’d done wrong exactly.

“Adore, you didn’t want the rest of your kale salad?” Courtney’s voice was bright and chirpy, so syrupy sweet it almost turned Bianca’s stomach.  
  
“Hey Courtney? Eat forty dicks!”

“Uh, pass?” Courtney said, making a disgusted grimace at Bianca, who laughed, wishing she only knew how deeply she agreed with that sentiment.

“Hmm, eating forty dicks - sounds kinda like their Friday night.” Dela glanced across to the Mallrats seated on the grass opposite them, a few hundred feet away; the two identical, indistinguishable blondes nearest to Violet hanging off her -like Renaissance cherubs. Adore curled her lip.

“The whole group, or just Katya?”

“I’m sure Violet gets in on the action too.” Dela shrugged

“Ew.” Adore scoffed, disgust obvious on her face. “Urgh - I can smell the fucking cuntiness from here.”

“How the hell has she managed to acquire a group of girls that are basically carbon copies of each other?” Dela furrowed her brow. This was also true - the six of them that weren’t Violet shared practically identical physical attributes. Blonde hair, light eyes; built like toothpicks and dressed practically identically. Apparently they all color-coordinated by day; today was evidently pastels. “God, does she _collect_ blondes or something?”

“Except Max.” Bianca put in.

“Lavender blonde is still technically blonde - stop arguing with everything I say!”

“‘Lavender blonde’ my asscheek, it’s fucking gray.”

“Bianca!” There was something about being yelled at by Dela that felt to Bianca like being yelled at by her mom. Bianca shut her mouth with another roll of the eyes.

Courtney giggled at both of them, nestling closer to Bianca and rubbing a cheek against her shoulder. If Bianca turned her head, she’d be able to kiss her full on the mouth. She allowed herself a brief fantasy of Courtney welcoming it before shaking her head, filled with self-loathing, and gulping down half a can of Diet Coke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let us know what you think!!! XOXO


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Bianca and Courtney spend some one-on-one time, and then family responsibilities get in the way.

“Ugh, it’s so hot,” Bianca complained, gathering her hair up and attempting to twist it into a bun.

They were perched on the steps by the upper parking lot, killing time while Bianca waited for her brother to pick her up and Courtney waited for cheer practice to start. Bianca was spending about 75% of her mental energy trying not to let her eyes drift down Courtney’s body, especially when she stretched out her bare legs and crossed them delicately at the ankles.

“Ever think about maybe, I dunno, not wearing black pants and combat boots when it’s over 90 degrees?” Courtney asked, pulling lightly on Bianca’s laces.

“What I think about is cutting all my hair off!” Bianca answered.

“You should,” Courtney said, nodding enthusiastically, slinging an arm over Bianca’s lap.

“Uh…” Bianca swallowed. “Shave my head? My mom would fucking murder me.”

“No, like...I mean, do what you want, but I think you’d look cute if it was like, to here…” Courtney drew a finger lightly across Bianca’s neck, causing an involuntary shiver.

Bianca dug her fingers into her black jeans, trying to stop her mind from wandering into fantasy world, as it always did when Courtney touched her oh so casually. _She’s just fucking around, as usual,_ Bianca insisted to herself, trying to ignore the nagging follow-up. _Maybe she’s not._

“Jason! Come here...don’t you think that Bianca would look soooo cute with shorter hair?” Courtney asked, beckoning over some random boy, her apparent flavor of the moment. Bianca’s chest deflated as Courtney cooed, “Tell her, Jase.”

“Yeah, great,” he answered, then grinned down at Courtney. “So what’re you up to this weekend?”

_Smooth_ , Bianca thought, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, you know, not much…” Courtney fluttered her lashes and giggled, leaning closer to Bianca, who shrugged her off. Though her tolerance for Courtney’s antics was incredibly high, she drew the line at being involved in the other girl’s flirting with random boys.

“Maybe we can hang out,” Jason offered.

“Yeah, maybe,” Courtney replied airily, turning back to Bianca with a knowing smirk.

“Uh...cool.”

“Okay, bye!” Courtney waved her fingers at him absentmindedly as he backed away, heading for the parking lot in a state of befuddlement. _Par for the course._

“So, are you gonna do it?” Courtney’s eyes glittered as she looked up at Bianca.

“Do...what?”

“Cut your hair!” Courtney laughed.

“Oh. Maybe. I dunno.” Bianca swallowed what felt like a mouthful of dry sand, hating the way her stomach twisted when those green eyes looked into hers, the way sparks ravaged her body with every light touch. She felt almost drunk.

“Let me know if you want to-” Courtney stopped talking abruptly, biting her lip. “Why are you buzzing so much?”

“Come again?” Bianca squeaked.

Courtney gestured down and after one more horrified second, Bianca realized that she was referring to her cell, which was in fact vibrating like crazy. She pulled it out quickly, seeing a string of hysterical text messages from her little sister.

“Somebody’s popular.”

“Totally the opposite,” Bianca grimaced, quickly slamming out a reply before turning her vibrate off as the tirade of shit continued even after her attempt to shut her up. “My brother forgot he was supposed to pick us up today, and Angie’s losing her shit.”

“Useless layabout brother, or the one that Adore wanted to bone last year?”

“First one. Roy is actually kind of a functional adult, this wouldn’t have happened with him,” she muttered, gritting her teeth as she texted back telling Angie to calm the fuck down because she was handling it, before stuffing her phone back into her pocket and picking up her bag.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“I need to go and fix this shit before Ange commits mass murder.”

“How? Last time I checked you didn’t have a car.”

“I don’t. But Dela does, and knowing her she’s still hanging around doing whatever high-achiever bullshit she’s into today.”  
  
“You’re willingly going to travel in the Mom-Mobile sober? That’s desperation.”  
  
“Damn right. But I am desperate, so I’ll go and bribe her by swearing off auditioning for the lead in the show this year and hope she takes pity on me.”

“So you’re gonna leave me all by myself?” Courtney pouted, green puppy eyes staring up at Bianca. She softened for a moment, before the spear in her gut from watching her bat her lashes at Jason decided to twist itself around as she replayed the memory, and her face froze into blankness again.

“You’ll survive,” she said plainly; Courtney scowling for a moment before breaking, her face lit up with laughter, Bianca mirroring it to disguise her bitterness.

“That’s true. I’ll just find Trinity and annoy her until practice starts. Good luck dealing with tiny Latina She-hulk.”

Bianca chuckled, waving goodbye.

***

When they pulled up to the junior high, Angie stomped over to the car, face like a storm cloud.

“You’re fucking late.”

“Nice to see you too, Angie,” Dela chirped from the driver’s seat, a forced smile on her face as the younger of the two Del Rio sisters threw her bag against the door, bundling into the back of the car beside Dela’s brother with a sour expression.

“Why does _she_ get to sit in the front seat?” Angie snarled contemptuously, not glancing up from her phone as Dela started the car again.

“Because it’s thanks to me that you’re not fucking walking home, now sit down and shut up, you little shit.” Bianca curled her lip, receding into herself in the front seat nevertheless. Something about Angie’s vitriol - and the fact that she was so much younger and presumably dumber - got under her skin for reasons she couldn’t quite figure out. Angie was the family baby and played up to it to a degree worthy of an Oscar, and it sickened her. It wasn’t the actual verbal murder that got to her; it was the fact that Angie got away with it every fucking time.

“This is _so_ embarrassing,” Angie said under her breath just loud enough to be completely audible to everybody. “I’d rather slit my wrists than be seen in a minivan in public.” She glanced over at Ben, Dela’s 8-year-old brother, diligently reading a thick fantasy novel. “Especially with you nerds.”

Dela bit her lip, rolling her eyes as she turned up the radio; mumbling along to _Starlight Express,_ her grip tightening on the steering wheel.

Bianca rolled her eyes, affecting a high-pitched voice and saying, “Thank you for the ride, Dela. I’m so lucky that my sister has such a caring and responsible friend. I only hope to repay your kindness someday by acting like slightly less of a little bitch-”

“Bianca, I’d ask why all your friends are losers but then why would anybody who isn’t a gigantic loser want to be friends with _you_?”

“Would you shut the fuck up already?”

“She’s just mad because I’m the pretty sister,” Angie announced to no one in particular.

Dela’s suppressed laugh came out as a snort, and she shook her head, saying, “Angie, I hate to break it to you, but you guys are like, identical.”

“We are _not!_ ” Angie exclaimed, utterly indignant.

“Yeah, you are...it’s actually kind of spooky. You’re like her little mini-me,” Dela cooed in her most sugary voice.

Angie crossed her arms, a picture of fury, and Bianca stifled a laugh behind her hand.

“She wishes. Maybe if she lost 30 pounds and stopped dressing like a goth idiot. And like...I dunno, got a nose job.” Angie smiled now, proud of herself.

“Can I move in with you?” Bianca asked.

“Sure,” Dela answered, smiling sympathetically. “Although I’m sure she’ll be less of a brat once she gets boobs.”

Angie scowled again, sticking her tongue out at Dela in the rearview mirror.

“Ben, I hope you’re enjoying today’s lesson on how not to interact with other humans,” Bianca said, turning around to smile at the little boy.

Ben giggled.

“Maybe she’s just hungry,” he said thoughtfully, holding out his ziplock bag of goldfish crackers.

“Whatever,” Angie commented, snatching the bag away and taking a large handful.  “Stop looking at me.”

***

Once her bedroom door was slammed shut and locked, Bianca tossed herself onto her bed, curling into a ball and closing her eyes. Almost immediately, her mind began to wander. Where it always did...

_“B, will you do my back?” Courtney asked, handing over a bottle of sunscreen and batting her lashes slowly._

_“Uh...sure…”_

_Bianca’s heart raced as Courtney loosened the strings of her top, holding her hair out of the way. Her hands were shaking as she rubbed the slippery lotion into Courtney’s smooth golden skin._

_“Make sure to be thorough,” Courtney sang, turning around slightly, giving Bianca a scandalous view of her chest._

Bianca squeezed her eyes shut, hating herself and her traitorous mind, which lingered on these stupid, meaningless moments. As if helping her friend with sunscreen before a pool party meant anything. Hating her body, which never failed to betray her as she pressed her thighs together. But especially, hating the loud banging on her door that interrupted her thoughts, her brother’s voice screeching at her to get her ass downstairs for dinner.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we learn about the casting for the Fall musical, and the group has a less than pleasant encounter with Violet.

“Look, all I’m saying is why the fuck did they give the lead man’s part to a girl, _again?_ ” Willam ranted to nobody in particular as they left the auditorium in a huddle - only just managing to get a word in edgeways at last.

The last twenty minutes had been occupied by Dela’s squealing about landing the lead - Bianca had experienced this a thousand times and it never got less annoying. But it was significantly more annoying when she didn’t get her way, and she knew that from experience too. Hell hath no fury like a leading lady spurned, apparently. She held her script in her hand - Dela already with her nose buried in hers as though to drive home the point that she had more lines to learn, and as such had to start immediately - a perfect, irritating Sandra Dee in her white swing skirt and pale pink blouse.

“I’m not really a girl though, am I?” Jinkx said pointedly, raising a confrontational eyebrow at Willam - the pissed-off ranting continuing under the blond’s breath.

“Get into the fluidity of gender, Willam.” Dela defended her co-star, some kind of bizarre hand gesture going along with her words. Willam rolled his eyes as he walked away at Jinkx’s side, still ranting about reverse sexism, as though that was a thing.

“He’s gonna have a damn field day with Max.” Dela sighed, rolling her eyes and looking somewhat scornfully at the cast sheet on the door. “I mean, how and why the fuck did that happen?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Bianca pursed her lips, before forcing the expression into something that hopefully resembled a smile. “Hey, I said it earlier but you were too busy with your whole ‘pretending to be shocked’ routine, so I don’t think you actually heard me, but I really am happy for you. You deserve the part-”

“Hold on, could you say that again so I can get it on camera?”

“-after two years of me upstaging you,” Bianca finished her sentence, smirking.

“You’re so mean!” Dela said with an exaggerated pout on her face.

“And you’re an asshole,” Bianca said through a low laugh, half-heartedly pushing the darker-haired girl out of her way as she half-deliberately veered into her path, not paying attention for reading.

“How’s it going, losers?” Adore yelled down the hall at them, Courtney cuddled up at her side. Bianca wasn’t entirely sure how this could be comfortable for her with the spikes in the shoulders of Adore’s shirt, but maybe she was just uber-committed to being clingy.

“Fine,” Bianca said simply, leaning against the wall and stuffing her hands into the pockets of her black jeans.

“Dela got the part then?” Courtney asked Bianca, breaking away from Adore to tug playfully at her hair. “Seeing as your fake smile is starting to melt.”

Dela nodded excitedly, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet. Bianca interjected before she could burst out into another tirade.

“She got Mrs. Lovett. Jinkx is Sweeney. Willam is pissed.”

“What about you?”

“I got Lucy.” Bianca said. “That is, I do for the time being. If Dela gets into another fight with her fucking horse then who knows.”

“It was just a couple of broken ribs, I would have been fine!” Dela scoffed.

“Five is not ‘a couple’.” Bianca said somewhat exasperatedly; before realizing she needed to change the subject away from Dela.

Their current situation bore a striking resemblance to casting day last year - Dela and Courtney skipping out of the auditorium arm in arm, singing _What is this Feeling?_ at the tops of their lungs; Elphaba and Glinda in that year’s _Wicked_ , perfectly predictable, while Bianca trudged about six feet behind, trying not to be pissed about being cast as Nessarose. Mostly because of the twisting envy at how many scenes Dela and Courtney would get to share; wishing that she could take the other brunette’s place.

She’d never cared about leading parts - if it happened, it was nice, as it had with _Evita_ last year (which Dela hadn’t taken lying down) but she didn’t get nearly as invested as Dela. But Courtney had been the obvious choice for Glinda from the start, and since realizing this, Bianca’s desperation to get the role had been keeping her up at night. She figured for once her awkwardness might serve in her favor. Dela was too… _Dela_ for Elphie anyway. Too pretty and simpering and cute. But for whatever reason, Ms. Shupack hadn’t seen it her way.

But for once, fortune appeared to have been on her side. Dela had come into their first tech rehearsal after some kind of horse-based mishap over the weekend, insisting that she was fine - only to literally throw up when they tried to hoist her up for _Defying Gravity_. Dela’s bitterness over having to switch parts with Bianca had been difficult to weather - performing sitting down was better than not performing at all, of course - particularly given her constant jibing ‘as if anybody would ever believe that you were the prettier sister’. But Court had made it worth it.

Her face grew a little more morose at the thought that she wouldn’t be there this year - stifling her emotions before trying to impassively bring it up.

“Hey Court, why didn’t you try out?” She hoped that had sounded casual.

Courtney seemed slightly nonplussed by this, shrugging a little. “Ummm...I dunno. I don’t really like the music, and none of the characters felt right, and-”

“Uh, hello? Annoying drippy doe-eyed blonde soprano, Johanna is fucking made for you.” Dela said. “You just don’t think the costumes are cute.”

Courtney shrugged. “That too. Plus, Adore begged me to do choir this year, and cheerleading is way more intense in the fall.” She laughed as Adore hip-checked her in response.

“Fair enough.”

“I hope you don’t miss me too much,” Courtney said, tossing Bianca a playful wink.

As Bianca racked her brain for a way to respond without stammering like an idiot, Dela saved her.

“Oh! Hold up though, listen to this.” Dela lowered her voice a little, holding her script up over her face, seemingly just in case they were being spied on. “Apparently Max auditioned at some point too, and _she_ got Johanna - that’s like, the only other female solo.”

“What the fuck?! I’d _kill_ to see how Violet reacts to that,” Adore said, a wicked smile on her face.

“Today’s your lucky day,” Bianca said, gesturing to Violet and Max in a heated exchange down the hall.

“Omigod, let’s eavesdrop!” Adore exclaimed, grasping Courtney’s hand and pulling her down the hall. Courtney followed, giggling.

“...I mean I don’t care what the fuck you do, but I’m gonna be honest with you,” Violet said, sighing dramatically as she lectured Max. Still visibly matchy in the pastel pink dress code du jour, Violet’s expensive prep was offset by Max’s very obvious, very deliberate attempt to make her outfit look awful in the name of ‘fashion’; overlarge vintage shirt tucked into her skirt, and obnoxious platform shoes boosting her to a similarly obnoxious height. “Hanging around all those theatre freaks is definitely not going to help your reputation. People already think you’re weird...”

Adore rolled her eyes at Courtney as they passed, and Courtney smothered a laugh behind her hand.

“You’d think someone as slutty as Violet would be less judgmental about other people’s extracurriculars,” Courtney said thoughtfully, and Adore let out a cackle, spinning around and putting her hands on her hips.

“Hey, Violet!” Adore called.

“Speaking of freaks,” Violet muttered, plastering a fake smile on her face to answer loudly, “Yes?”

“Courtney was just wondering why you’re so judgmental about Max being in the play when you’re-” Courtney hit Adore on the shoulder, not wanting her to repeat what she’d said, but Adore dodged her and exclaimed, “When you’re such a rancid _slut!_ ”

A boy down the hall repeated, “Rancid slut!” and high-fived one of his buddies, making Courtney’s stomach twist uncomfortably. This wasn’t how she wanted to begin her day. Violet’s eyes narrowed.

“That’s not what I said!” Courtney insisted.

“Whatever,” Violet said, tossing her hair. “Pot, kettle, as they say...right Courtney?”

“I didn’t say-”

Violet spun on her heel and walked back down the hall, Max trailing after her, as Courtney turned to Adore, currently doubled over laughing.

“Adore, why did you say that? I was just kidding around.”

“Cause it was funny as fuck, boo!” Adore chuckled, blowing a kiss. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s one thing when it’s just us, but when you antagonize her, and in front of other people...I just wanted to be chill this year.”

“You can’t be  _chill_ with Violet,” Adore said, shaking her head.

Courtney sighed, leaning back against the wall.

“Honestly, Court, I am usually the first one to advocate the whole ‘kill ‘em with kindness’ routine,” Dela said. “But Violet can’t be killed with kindness. She’s pure evil.”

“Right!” Adore agreed. “She’s literally Satan.”

Courtney exchanged a put-upon look with Bianca, who flashed her an amused smile.

“You havin’ a hard day, kiddo?” Bianca asked, jokingly offering a hug.

“Totally,” Courtney giggled and skipped forward, throwing herself into Bianca’s arms.

“Must be  tough to be you.” Bianca let herself relax into the embrace. It was probably her imagination, but Courtney always seemed to hug her extra long. Definitely her imagination, she reasoned, pulling away and looking into Courtney’s face, which was now lit up with glee.

“So tough. Thank you,” Courtney laughed, wrapping her hands around Bianca’s arm. “Let’s go to math.”

“Uh...bye?” Adore said.

“Bye!” Courtney sang unironically, leaning on Bianca’s shoulder as they headed off down the hall.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Bianca and Courtney spend some one-on-one time, and then the shit hits the fan. And by shit we mean Jamba Juice. And by fan we mean...well, you’ll see.

Bianca wedged her Pre-Calc textbook into her locker and attempted to slam it shut before everything came spilling out, when two hands covered her eyes, a voice singing, “Guess whooo?”

After half a second of panic, Bianca whirled around, heart pounding - feeling like her heart had just fallen out of her asshole.

“Okay, you really, really can’t do that.” She said, one hand on her chest.

“Why not?” Courtney asked, leaning against the wall of lockers, still smiling cluelessly.

“Because like, you can’t sneak up on people who had the shit bullied out of them for most of their adolescent life. It’s terrifying.”

Courtney laughed. It made Bianca’s skin crawl.

“How the fuck is that funny to you?” She said with her brows furrowed; almost angry. If it had been anybody besides Courtney, she would already be yelling at them.

“Well...like anyone would dare to bully you?” Court shrugged her off, rolling her eyes. Bianca shook her head in disbelief.

“Are you on drugs? Did we not go to the same junior high?”

“You were bullied in junior high?” Courtney’s head was tilted, a puzzled look on her face.

“Uh, yeah, by your bestie! Do you not remember the way she used to fucking torture me?”

Courtney rolled her eyes, chuckling.

“B, that wasn’t bullying. That was like...mild, playful teasing.”

Bianca opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out.

“I mean, it’s Adore,” Courtney continued. “Who’s scared of Adore? She’s like...a harmless little kitty who just wants to be petted and loved...even when she bites and scratches.”

“A lot of people are scared of Adore!”

Courtney laughed again, making a cute little meowing noise, and Bianca grabbed her shoulders, looking into her eyes.

“Okay, let me explain something to you.”

“Yes? Go ahead…” Courtney placed a hand on top of hers and looked up at her, eyes wide.

For a second, Bianca forgot what she was saying, clearing her throat.

“Um...yeah, so...you might not understand, because you’ve _always_ been popular and beautiful, but-”

“You think I’m beautiful?” Courtney fluttered her lashes.

“Shut up,” Bianca said with an eye roll, and Courtney giggled. “My point is, you probably don’t get it, but...it sucks to be an outsider. Really, really sucks.”

Courtney stopped simpering up at her, face getting serious for a moment.

“I’m sorry.”

“Whatever, it’s fine.”

“No, really.” Courtney reached up to tuck some hair behind Bianca’s ear. “You don’t feel that way anymore, do you?”

Bianca swallowed, heart caught in her throat, those green eyes burning into hers. This wasn’t a question that she was prepared to answer. Not now. Not to her.

“No.”

“Good,” Courtney said, biting her lip. “Now, come on. I need your advice. This whole Violet thing is really bugging me...”

***

Courtney took a deep breath as she approached the Mallrats, who were gathered under a large oak tree in the middle of the lawn where the juniors ate lunch.

“Hey...Violet?” Courtney swallowed as the Violet turned around slowly. They’d barely exchanged two words since elementary school, except for the immature insult-trading that their groups engaged in constantly. Courtney was sick of it, wanted to just go about her life without all the toxic energy. But of course, she couldn’t really count on Violet feeling the same way. She had the vague feeling of entering a viper’s nest.

“Hi, Courtney,” Violet said, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

Encouraged, Courtney cleared her throat and admitted, “I feel kinda bad about the ‘rancid slut’ comment. That wasn’t what I said, but either way...it wasn’t cool.”

Violet shrugged.

“I’ve been called much worse. Mostly by your BFF.”

“Right, but…” Courtney nodded and continued, “I mean, no matter what’s happened, that wasn’t okay for anyone to say, so I’m sorry. I just really want us all to be chill this year. Do you think...is that possible?”

Violet’s smile widened, and she let out a little giggle.

“Honestly Court...it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Really?” Courtney asked hopefully, relief flooding through her.

“Totes.” Violet tilted her head. “Hey, did you do something different with your hair recently? It looks amazing.”

“Oh, um...I guess I’m using a new conditioner, but...I should probably go back to-” Her eyes flicked towards her own group of friends on the opposite side of the lawn.

“Aww, come on. Stay for a minute.” Violet patted the grass next to her. “You know...now that we’re chill.”

Courtney nodded, kneeling down with a chuckle.

“Sure.”

“Tell us about this conditioner,” Violet said. “‘Cause Trixie really needs all the help she can get.”

***

Adore clapped her hand over Dela’s mouth, stopping her story about her horse mid-sentence. A muffled, annoyed sound came out of her mouth but she was cut off by Adore exclaiming, “What the _fuck_ _?!_ ”

Everyone turned towards the direction Adore was looking. Courtney was sitting beside Violet, engaged in what seemed like a friendly, casual conversation.

Before anyone could offer an explanation as to why Adore’s best friend was fraternizing with her sworn enemy, Adore’s eyes went black with rage and she leapt to her feet. Bianca felt her stomach turn over. _Oh, shit._

“Adore, what are you gonna-” Trinity began as Adore marched across the grass like a woman possessed.

***

“...and you use that every day? No wonder your skin’s so great,” Violet cooed, stroking the back of Courtney’s arm.

“Uh, yeah.”

“You traitorous fucking cunt!” came a screech from above, and before Courtney could react, Adore was standing above her, pouring the entire contents of her smoothie down onto her head.

“Adore! What the hell?!” Courtney sputtered, in utter shock as the icy, dark pink liquid dripped down her face.

“You wanna be a fucking mallrat? Fine! Good riddance!” Adore yelled, then turned and stomped away.

“Adore! I-” Courtney began to get up, but was stopped by a hand on her arm.

“Let her go,” Violet said softly.

“But I-”

“Talking to her right now is a bad idea. Trust me, I know,” Violet insisted.

“I guess,” Courtney said, deflating. “Fuck.” She wiped some of the smoothie off her face, fighting the urge to cry.

“You want some help cleaning up?” Katya asked, jumping up and brushing the grass off her skirt.

“I...yeah, thanks.”

Katya smiled and took her hand, guiding her towards the nearest bathroom.

***

“Ugh, what a nightmare,” Courtney groaned, head in the bathroom sink as Katya tried rinsing the smoothie out of her hair.

“Tell me about it,” Katya giggled. “I’m doing my best, but you’re gonna need a full Silkwood scrubdown when you get home.”

“A what?”

“Uh, nevermind, movie reference. From before your time.”

“We’re the same age.”

“She’s into weird shit,” Trixie piped up from the doorway. “It’s best to ignore her.”

“Thanks, Trix, appreciate your help.” Katya grinned as Trixie stuck her tongue out.

After Katya had done what she could at the sink, she had Courtney kneel under the hand dryer, using Trixie’s brush to detangle the sticky mess.

"You know, pink hair really suits you," said Katya, and Courtney gave her a smile, grateful that she was being so nice.

“So...Adore kind of has a temper, doesn’t she?” Trixie ventured.

“Yeah,” Courtney sighed.

“Oh my god. I haven’t seen her that angry since seventh grade when Max accidentally knocked her off the stage during the choir concert,” Katya giggled. “Remember? What a shit show that was…”

Courtney chuckled weakly, trying hard to find the humor in her current situation. She hated it when Adore got angry, but normally it wasn’t at her. Normally, she was the one calming her down. She wondered if any of their friends were trying to get her to chill out right now. Even more, she wondered if anyone was bothering to defend her.

“Well, anyway, don’t worry about it. I’m sure she’ll get over it soon enough. And if not, you can hang out with us!” Katya smiled brightly, flashing perfect white teeth.

“Thanks.” Courtney smiled back, wondering why she and her friends always talked so much shit about Katya. She seemed like the same quirky, friendly girl that she’d been in elementary school.

“Omigod, you two. Get a room,” said Trixie.

“Don’t be jealous,” Katya laughed, blowing Trixie a kiss.

“As if,” Trixie grumbled.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Courtney deals with the fallout from smoothie-gate with boundless optimism. Or, tries to, anyway.

As Courtney entered the choir room, part of her thought that if she just jumped into Adore’s lap and reassured her best friend how much she loved her, everything would go back to normal. Adore would apologize for freaking out, and they’d sit together, fingers laced together, giggling, and pretend to get competitive when Mr. Ryan handed out the solos.

She approached their usual seats with an optimistic swing in her step. This would all be over soon. But as she got closer, she realized that Dela was in her usual seat, and Adore had thrown her studded leather jacket over the spare chair beside her, and piled her own and Dela’s bags onto it, so that there was no room for her.

She stood for a moment, heart beating fast and a lump forming in her throat. Adore glanced over at her, mouth twisted into a smirk, and then leaned over to whisper something in Dela’s ear.

Courtney swallowed hard, and then turned around, eyes searching the room for an empty chair. There was one left in the top row, beside Alaska, a senior who’d always been pretty friendly to Courtney, and she breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Hi…mind if I sit here?” Courtney asked tentatively.

“Yes, we mind. Go fuck yourself, bougie Hillside cumbiscuit!” sneered Willam.

Courtney nodded and took a step back, before Alaska grabbed her arm and pulled her into the seat; blonde hair stacked into a ludicrously large messy bun at the crown of her head with a bow that would have looked obnoxiously childish on probably anybody else holding it in place.

“He’s kidding. Sit,” she said with a smile.

Beside her, Willam was cracking up.

“I’m sorry,” Alaska added. “I can’t take him anywhere.”

“Oh my god,” Willam said, wiping his eyes. “She was so scared. Bitch, we did a whole fucking musical together, you’d know if I hated you.” He punched Alaska in the arm. “Come on, that was funny. Admit it.”

Alaska rolled her eyes.

“Hilarious.”

“Fuck you too, cunt.”

Courtney finally managed a small giggle.

“See, she gets it.”

Courtney grinned at him, happy to just silently observe the good-natured bickering between him and Alaska for awhile.

***

Courtney’s mum was very into positive visualization. So the next morning, Courtney stood outside of her Spanish class, and imagined going over to Adore, kissing her on the cheek, and sliding into the seat beside her. She imagined Adore’s chagrined puppy dog face, her big blue eyes meeting Courtney’s and expressing regret over the previous day. She imagined the generous smile she’d give her, forgiving her for everything, and the hug that would follow.

She opened the door, walking purposefully towards their usual seats, and then, as she approached, took a deep breath, hoping to let the events of her fantasy unfold.

Adore stood abruptly, tugging on the sleeve of Trinity’s purple bomber jacket.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” she said to Trinity, leading her toward the back of the class with a dirty look tossed in Courtney’s direction.

Courtney sank slowly into her seat. So much for positive visualization…

***

But it wasn’t until third period when Courtney finally understood the full scale of the situation. Adore wasn’t in American Lit with her, but Dela was. And Courtney had always felt like Dela was the most mature, reasonable person in their group. So when Dela avoided eye contact and sat on the other side of their class, Courtney could feel the blood draining from her face.

This was bad.

Very, very bad.

Courtney sat through class, mind spinning, unfocused. When she got to her next class, she paused in the doorway. Bianca and Trinity were in their normal seats, and hers was empty. She could go sit there and pretend nothing was wrong, but somehow the idea of more cold shoulder made her stomach turn. Especially from Bianca.

Her throat felt dry and itchy as she turned to scan the rest of the room, just as Katya breezed into the class.

It might make things worse to buddy up to anyone in Violet’s group. Courtney knew that, but she decided that it was still the better option. Easier to ask for forgiveness later than cause drama now.

“Hey Court!” Katya exclaimed as Courtney found the last empty seat in her row.

“Hi. I hope it’s cool that I sit here. My friends are still…uh…”

“Of course! Oh my god, I fucking love this class. I’m so glad to have someone else to talk to about it!” She enthused, rolling up the sleeves of her blue checkered shift dress as if she was about to demonstrate something of importance to Court.

“You _love_ this class?”

“Are you kidding? It’s my favorite! I mean we are literally unlocking the secrets of the universe. It’s thrilling.” Katya’s eyes glittered.

“Uh…” Before Courtney could respond, she felt her phone vibrate.

_BIANCA: Why’d you change seats, weirdo?_

_COURTNEY: I’m trying to make it easier for you guys._

_BIANCA: ???_

_COURTNEY: Let’s talk after class. Not in front of Trin._

Bianca felt a tiny bit guilty for playing dumb. Of course she knew why Courtney was avoiding them. She’d been listening to Adore rant about what a disloyal bitch she was for nearly 24 hours. And seen all of their friends nod along.

The whole thing was moronic, if you asked Bianca. But nobody had asked her. And when she tried, just once, to mention that Courtney had been Adore’s best friend for…how many years? Since second grade? So maybe she should be given the benefit of the doubt? Adore just told her to shut the fuck up, she didn’t understand.

Bianca had shut the fuck up, rather than continue to defend Courtney and anger Adore even more. She especially didn’t mention the fact that she’d known ahead of time about Courtney apologizing. When they’d discussed it earlier in that day, Bianca, at the time, thought that it was a good idea, since Courtney clearly felt bad and wanted to smooth things over. She was obviously wrong to give her that advice.

So Bianca had no problems with Courtney. Bianca missed Courtney - even in the past day, she felt her absence, and it sucked. And as much as she hated the agony of being around a girl she had such strong feelings for and not being able to do anything about it, she was finding it worse without her.

After class, Bianca told Trinity to go ahead - she needed to talk to Mr. Ramirez about her quiz grade. And then spent the next two minutes fucking with her backpack while she waited for the class to empty out.

“Hey.”

Bianca looked up and saw Courtney standing awkwardly in front of her, arms crossed over themselves as if she was cold, despite the oppressive late summer heat.

“Hi.” Bianca paused, unsure of what to do. What do you say to your eternal hopeless crush who you’re supposed to be mad at because the girl that tortured you in junior high (but is currently your friend) has expelled her from your social circle? “Are…are you okay?”

Courtney nodded, biting her lip.

“I wasn’t gonna pick sides, you know.”

“You’re the only one,” Courtney replied flatly, and Bianca swallowed, hating the entire situation.

“Well…you’ve been my friend for as long as she has. So…what, I’m just supposed to pretend to hate you now?”

“That’s kind of how it works,” Courtney said, sighing softly.

“Well, that’s stupid,” Bianca declared.

“Yeah.”

“And anyway, I feel like this is partly my fault.”

“Of course it’s not,” Courtney said.

“But I encouraged you to-”

“B, look,” Courtney sighed again. “I was gonna apologize to Violet no matter what you said. Okay? Please don’t feel like it’s your fault. That’s…none of this is your fault.”

“So…we’re cool?”

Courtney smiled sadly.

“Of course. I would never be mad at you. I’m not mad at anyone, really, even Adore. And I appreciate that you’re actually giving me the time of day, but…you know that you can’t really stay neutral, right?”

“Sure I can. I just tell everyone that I refuse to ignore you and treat you like shit, and you’re still my friend, and-”

“And then Adore hates you, too. Do you really want that?”

Bianca looked at her for a long moment. Of course not. Of course she didn’t want Adore to hate her. The years when Adore hated her were quite honestly the worst of her whole life. But she didn’t want to lose Courtney. Her stomach heaved.

“So…thank you. Like, really. But you kind of have to pick sides. I mean, either you side with her, or you lose all of them.” Courtney shifted her backpack. “Are you really willing to lose all your friends?”

Was she? Bianca swallowed. She felt utterly horrible - a no win situation, compounded by the guilt because what right did she have to complain? Courtney _had_ lost all of her friends, for what seemed to Bianca to be an incredibly stupid, easily explainable indiscretion. And all things being equal, she probably would have followed Courtney off a cliff. But Courtney wasn’t asking her to do that. Courtney assumed that the decision was already made. And maybe, because of that, it was.

Bianca wrapped her arms around Courtney’s shoulders, squeezing her tight.

For a second, Courtney’s heart lurched with hope, until she heard Bianca whisper, “I’m sorry.”

Courtney bit her lip, breaking away.

“Me too.”

Bianca didn’t want to go, but she knew that everyone would get suspicious in a few minutes, so she squeezed Courtney’s hand one last time and left the classroom.

Courtney watched her, cursing the tears that pricked at her eyes, hating herself for that brief, naive flash of hope when she imagined Bianca choosing her, only to be crushed by the reality that she should have accepted all along. She blinked rapidly a few times, trying to breathe evenly, before leaving her class and heading to the lunch yard.

_It sucks to be an outsider. Really, really sucks._

It wasn’t until she was staring at her former friends, laughing and carrying on, that she truly understood Bianca’s words. She ducked her head and walked by the group quickly, heart pounding, trying to ignore Laganja loudly talking about “disloyal bitches,” followed by Adore’s raucous laughter.

Her eyes fell closed as she paused for a beat before decisively walking in Violet’s direction.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courtney continues to hold out hope for a reconciliation, and Dela gives some fairly sound advice.

“So listen, Courtney. We both know that Adore is crazy when she gets like this,” Violet said. She was trying to sound sympathetic, but there was a glimmer in her eyes that gave Courtney pause. “And like, if you want, you can sit with us until it blows over.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” Violet flashed a smile at her, taking her hand and squeezing it. “Just so you know, we like to coordinate our outfits. Tomorrow is plaid.”

“Uhhh...I don’t think I own anything plaid,” Courtney said.

“Oh no, an excuse to go shopping,” Violet deadpanned. “We hate that.”

Fame clapped and let out a little squeal.

“You’ll come with us to the mall after school, right?” she asked.

“Uh...yeah, I guess.”

“Great.” Violet put an arm around her. “And you’ll actually fit into cute things. Unlike Trixie, who has the hips of a 40-year-old. Our last shopping trip involved like 18 different forms of Spanx. Brutal.”

“Sorry,” Trixie said, and Violet rolled her eyes.

***

“God, look at her,” Adore said, glaring at Courtney and the Mallrats with as much venom as she could muster.

“You should have seen her in chemistry, practically up inside Katya’s ass,” laughed Trinity. “Right B?”

“Uh-“

“Gross. What a fucking _whore_ ,” Adore spit.

“Total whore,” Laganja agreed, and Gia immediately echoed the sentiments.

Bianca shifted. She wasn’t sure exactly how Courtney eating a sandwich translated into all the whore talk, but she knew she hated it. She exchanged a look with Dela. Surely, the annoying mom friend had to know how stupid this was. Right?

Dela cleared her throat.

“I’m gonna go get some pizza. Adore, wanna come? That salad looks pitiful.”

“You _know_ I’m trying to lose weight, bitch.”

“Oh, no, don’t, you’ll die,” Dela intoned unconvincingly, hands up in a gesture of mock-protest. “Come on, we can call it a cheat day. You love pizza.”

Adore crossed her arms.

“You _deserve_ pizza,” Dela said, and that finally did the trick, Adore rising and following her to the cafeteria.

Dela linked arms with Adore, tossing her a smile as they strolled along. Adore narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

“What?”

Dela took a deep breath.

“Okay, so. You know I love you to death and I only want the very best for you, right?”

“Why do I feel like this is a trick question?” Adore asked.

“It’s not! I’m just saying...you know I like, have your back, right?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Dela paused, hesitating slightly, then said, “Don’t you think it’s time that you two made up?”

“Not unless that bitch says she’s sorry!” Adore exclaimed.

“Well...right, but...you’ve been giving her a pretty serious silent treatment. Also...you poured a smoothie on her. You might need to apologize too, no?”

Adore giggled slightly under her breath.

“That was pretty good, huh?”

“Adore…” Dela took on her Serious Mom voice.

“Alright, alright. I’ll talk to her tomorrow. But if she doesn’t say she’s sorry too, then I’m fucking _done_!”

“Fair enough,” Dela said.

***

Courtney could feel Adore eyeing her from the doorway of their Spanish class. She shifted nervously, hoping that she wasn’t going to start shit. Suddenly, the pink plaid skirt she was wearing felt like a gigantic mistake.

As Adore approached, Violet pranced over in her coordinating baby blue plaid, sitting down decisively next to Courtney and exclaiming over how cute she looked. Courtney gave her a cursory smile and then looked up at Adore, eyes big and hopeful.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“Hi,” Adore replied, then turned to Violet with an eyeroll. “Do you mind?”

“Mind what?” Violet asked, batting her lashes.

“Mind…” Adore crossed her arms, “Getting the fuck out of here for a second so I can talk to my friend?”

“You mean _our_ friend?” asked Violet, tone dripping with sugary sweetness as she draped an arm over Courtney’s shoulder. She looked up at Adore, who was clearly fuming, with a victorious smirk.

“Oh, fuck off,” Adore spat. She spun around and walked away.

Courtney called after her, shrugging out of Violet’s grip, but the only response she got was the finger as Adore sat down next to Trinity.

“What was _that?_ ” Courtney said to Violet, distressed.

“I thought you wanted us all to be cool with each other?” Violet’s eyes widened innocently.

“I do, but that _wasn’t_ cool, and I-”

“Courtney, if she can’t even handle you sitting next to me, then she obviously isn’t gonna drop this stupid feud. I was perfectly nice to her. And she told me to get the fuck out and to fuck off. And then flipped you off. So who’s fault is it? Hmm?” Violet drummed her fingers on the desk.

Courtney sighed. She knew that Violet was correct, technically, but there was something about her tone when she was being “perfectly nice” that felt even more hostile than Adore’s venom. But at the moment, Courtney didn’t feel like she could properly articulate how she felt, so she opted not to argue.

_COURTNEY: I’m really sorry. I do want to talk. Maybe after class? Alone?_

_ADORE: Before or after you eat Violet’s pussy?_

Courtney sat at her desk, cheeks burning, steaming with anger. Just who the fuck did Adore Delano think she was? That was how she wanted to be, after ten years of friendship?

The more Courtney thought about it, the angrier she got. And to think that she was going to forgive Adore for the whole smoothie bullshit with the snap of her fingers. What a _pushover._ Well, no more. It was time to take a stand.

_COURTNEY: Go to hell_

_ADORE: XO_

***

“I tried, Dela, I swear. But that fucking _bitch_ just wants to be friends with fucking Violet. So you know what? Fuck her!”

Bianca watched Adore rant to Dela with a helpless expression. What had happened _now?_

“What did she say when you-”

“She didn’t say shit, she just sat there like a fucking mallrat minion and let Violet get all up in my face!” Adore exclaimed.

“Okay, okay…” Dela put an arm around Adore’s shoulder, wishing she’d been there. She exchanged a look of regret with Bianca.

“She’s...she doesn’t care, Dela. She’d rather lick Violet’s asshole than make things right. I’m…”

Dela nodded sympathetically, seeing the hurt in Adore’s eyes through all the bravado.

“It’ll be alright.”

 _Would it?_ Bianca sighed, feeling useless and defeated, wishing there was something, anything, that she could do.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, you lucky bitch. You are cordially invited to lunch with the Mallrats. Dress code: cute AF.

Fame settled into the grass beside Violet, pale yellow plaid tennis skirt tucked under her knees, encouraging everyone to take treats from a box of pastries she’d brought from her mom’s bakery. Trixie’s eyes lit up and she picked out an éclair.

“Sure you can afford those calories, Trix?” Violet asked with a smirk.

Trixie made a face at her briefly and bit into the eclair with a blissful expression. Some cream squirted out of the back, getting all over her fingers - a little dripping onto her pink polo shirt.

“Oh man, what a mess,” Trixie said, then added, “This is almost as bad as my dad.”

Courtney’s mouth dropped open in horror, causing Trixie to laugh.

“I’m kidding!” she assured Courtney. “I’ve never met my dad.”

Katya joined in the laughter as Trixie licked the cream off her fingers.

“My stepdad, on the other hand? Tiny dick, watery cum. Ugh,” Trixie deadpanned.

Everyone squirmed uncomfortably for a moment until Katya began laughing uncontrollably, throwing a handful of chips at her face.

“You fuckin’ bitch!” Katya exclaimed, gasping for air. She pushed Trixie, who pushed her back, and soon they were both rolling around on the grass, cracking up.

“You guys are sick,” Pearl stated, a disdainful scowl on her face.

“Deviant freaks,” agreed Violet, and Max nodded vigorously.

Katya wiped her eyes and sat up. “Okay, speaking of cum-”

“Were we _really?_ ” Violet asked, and Max let out a whimper, face pinched with disgust. Courtney held back a giggle.

Katya continued, unbothered. “You know who has delicious cum? That guy, the sophomore on the soccer team...ugh, why can’t I remember his name? You know the guy I mean? The one with the hair, and the face?”

“The hair and the face? And we were worried you were gonna be vague,” Violet said.

“His name starts with a ‘Ja’...Ja ja jam, jag...jar…”

“You okay honey?” Fame asked gently.

“She’s like the Rain Man of dicks,” Violet commented, and Pearl chuckled.

“Ja...ja...ja…”

“Jesus,” Violet muttered.

“No,” Katya told her, continuing to think. “Ja...Whatever, the cute one. Delicious.”

“So...you remember what his cum tastes like but his name totally escapes you?” wondered Pearl.

“Well I’m not good with names. But yeah, I dunno, maybe ‘cause he’s Filipino, so he eats a lot of tropical fruit?”

“Does that make a difference?” Courtney asked, eyes widening.

“Totally. For girls too.”

“I don’t wanna hear this!” Max whined.

“She’s a connoisseur,” Trixie explained, ignoring Max per the group’s seemingly grand tradition.

“I’m sure you’ve heard.” Katya said this matter-of-factly.

“Well...yeah,” Courtney admitted. The rumors about Katya were endless, and had been for years. Ever since junior high and an ill-fated game of Truth or Dare at Dan’s birthday party.

“But here’s what people don’t know.” Katya leans in, lowering her voice conspiratorially. “I’m not just out there sucking dicks. I mean I do, but before I suck anyone’s dick, I tell them that they need to solve a riddle.”

“Listen to this shit.” Trixie said proudly, as Max covered her ears.

“And then I bury their face in my pussy. And by then they’re so horny with the anticipation of a blow job that they’re willing to do anything, including a careful exploration of my lady parts with their tongue. So what I’m really doing is teaching all the boys in our town how to eat pussy. And some girls. One by one.”

“She’s a feminist hero,” Trixie giggled as Max gagged like a cat mid-hairball. “Susan B. Anthony...Eleanor Roosevelt...Katya Zamolodchikova.”

“Holy fuck,” Courtney said, impressed.

“You’re welcome,” Katya said, folding her hands primly in her lap.

“That’s so gross,” Fame said, shaking her head. “What the hell is the appeal in that?”

“In what?”

All eyes turned to Fame as she tried to explain her issue.

“Having...I dunno, somebody like, _lick_ your vagina. That’s so disgusting. Like, what if I smell weird? Or taste weird? How can it be fun when you’re lying there like you’re at the doctor, all paranoid and self conscious, with someone’s face in your pussy? It just seems like...so not sexy at all.”

“Oh my god,” Max whimpered, covering her face.

“I don’t know what part of that statement to be more concerned by…” Courtney said tentatively.

“I just don’t _get_ it. What’s the point?”

“ _Seriously?_ ” Katya asked, incredulous.

“Um...doesn’t it like...feel good? I mean, I assume?” Courtney turned to Katya for confirmation, and she nodded vigorously; Max now looking even more like she was about to lose her lunch.

“I honestly doubt it,” Fame countered. “I mean, I’ve had sex with Kyle, and it’s like...fine, I guess, but...I mean, he’s always done in 30 seconds and I’m just like ‘yeah whatever.’ Like, if actual sex isn’t even that great, then how is it gonna be more effective doing it with his tongue?”

“That’s what your clitoris is for, my friend,” Katya explained.

“I thought that was a myth?” Fame tilted her head, confused.

Courtney tried not to roll her eyes as she patted Fame on the thigh, commenting, “Biology classes have really failed you, huh petal?”

“You just said that you’re assuming!” Fame cried. “So how do _you_ know?”

“Well...I mean…I’m just...” Courtney bit her lip. These girls were still not to be trusted 100%. “Let’s just say that my mom used to use _Our Bodies, Ourselves_ for my bedtime stories.”

Katya, laughing, had pulled out a notebook and was starting to draw a diagram on the back of her math homework.

“I feel the need to right the wrongs of our shitty public education,” she explained, sketching quickly.

Courtney helped her finish, and then the two of them regaled the group with a full sex ed/anatomy lesson.

Fame was shocked to learn that the clitoris was in fact, a real thing. And Pearl discovered that the urethra wasn’t somewhere between the vagina and the asshole.

“Okay, the clit thing I almost get but like...How could you possibly think that was there? Have you never wiped your butt?” Katya asked, and Pearl shrugged.

“How do you find out this stuff?” Fame asked. “You’re a fucking sexpert!”

“Just have sex with a few girls too. Teaches you a lot,” Katya said, and Courtney felt her cheeks begin to heat up. Maybe being friends with this group would be valuable after all.

“Yes, yes, Katya is equal opportunity with oral sex,” Violet interjected. “Old news-”

“And you’re _welcome_ ,” Katya said pointedly. Courtney’s eyebrows shot up, but before she could ask anything else about that little piece of information, Violet continued.

“ _Anyway_...can we talk about my party?” she asked, fed up with the whole conversation that had derailed her plans.

“Oooh, yes! I can’t wait for your party!” Fame clapped her hands, squealing with happiness, and mildly relieved at the subject change.

Violet’s big end-of-September party was an annual tradition. Her birthday was in the summer, and though she generally had big birthday parties, she always threw a big theme party about a month into the new school year also. Which just so happened to coincide with Adore’s birthday. Courtney was well aware that going to the party would easily get back to Adore, and at the moment, she was perfectly happy with that fact.

“So...what’s the plan this year? Do you have a theme?” Courtney asked, and Violet smiled.

“This year, it’s a masquerade. So, I was thinking about a plan for our group and I think we should all go as Disney Princesses. But like, sexy. Obviously. So I’ve assigned everyone parts, and we can start shopping for the costumes after school today. I’m gonna be Snow White. Fame, I thought you’d be a really great Cinderella.”

“Yay!” Fame beamed beside her.

“Wait, how sexy?” fretted Max, wringing her hands. “I don’t want to wear something too revealing, because-”

“Well then you know what, Max? You don’t have to! Why don’t you go find some theatre freaks to hang out with instead?”

Max pouted for a second, her face vacant as her eyes welled up. She looked at Violet plaintively, almost like she was begging her to say she was kidding - Vi rolling her eyes, and turning back to whisper in Pearl’s ear about Max being a baby, loud enough for her to hear. Max grabbed her purse, biting her lip as she stormed away, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hand.

“God, what a pain. Well, I guess I’ll cross Pocahontas off the list. Anyway,” Violet continued. “Pearlie, I think you could make Sleeping Beauty totally hot, and Courtney...do you wanna be Ariel?” Violet fluttered her lashes.

“You want me to be a red-headed mermaid?” Courtney asked. “That’s subtle, Vi.”

Violet smirked.

“Come on. You know you want to,” Violet coaxed. “It would serve her right.”

Courtney nodded, agreeing, determined to be the most beautiful, sexiest mermaid of all time. She tried to tell herself that she wasn’t being petty, but the truth was, she was a little excited about doing something that was sure to ruffle Adore’s feathers.

“Katya...Jasmine.”

Katya grinned, giving a thumbs up.

“And Trixie,” Violet sighed. “I know you have like, no money, so I thought you could be Belle and wear that ugly yellow dress you got for Sadie Hawkins last year. If it still fits.”

“It fits!” Trixie huffed.

“Great. Now you don’t have to spend your whole college fund on a costume.”

“Ha! Like my parents have a college fund,” Trixie said, rolling her eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Adore adopts a stray, Bianca suffers, and Courtney digs in her heels.

Dela stood behind the curtain with her script in her hand, staring at the floor. Bianca off measuring up extras for costumes - how she’d coped with a lead role and her various jobs helping out with the wardrobe crew in previous years was utterly beyond her - and Jinkx out on stage being grilled by Ms. Shupack about how abysmal her English accent was during _No Place Like London_ , she had been left hovering around with one thing preying on her mind.

Max was perched on a table a few feet away from her, awkwardly staring at her and then immediately glancing away whenever she got caught - mopey and miserable, almost begging Dela to pay attention to her without actually speaking. Pathetic, really. She’d been doing it the whole way through practice, actually.

Dela was telling herself that she wasn’t her problem - the girl was notorious for seeming to refuse to even attempt to live on the same planet as most normal people and generally being a pretentious ass; with the current climate of her friend group, if she brought an (albeit, ex) Mallrat into the mix then Adore would more than likely give her her own head to play with. And besides -  she and the other girl had some thoroughly uncomfortable history which Dela really didn’t feel like revisiting. Not right now - maybe not ever. But maybe she’d changed? Who knew?

Dammit. Damn her and caring too much about people for her own good. Before she had even fully assessed whether or not it was a good idea, Dela was already walking towards her; tucking her bangs behind her ear and pursing her lips.

“Hey,” she said as airily as possible, leaning her butt on the table beside Max. The other girl looked up, almost surprised.

“Dela. Hi.” Her words were forced and cold, a little awkward.

“It’s really nice to see you here. I actually kinda forgot you could sing that well.” She said through a slightly forced smile, turning to Max, who was looking dead-ahead of them, almost aloofly.

“Thanks.”

Dela gave a tight-lipped smile, and the two sat in awkward silence for a moment or two. Oh well. She’d as good as decided this would be the outcome of the conversation before she started it, so Dela figured she may as well bite the bullet.

“Hey Max - listen, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

***

“So,” Katya said, sliding into the seat behind Courtney, eyes glittering with mischief. “Thank you for helping me teach our naive little princesses about their bodies yesterday.”

“I mean, I helped where I could,” Courtney said, happy to have a distraction from Bianca’s sad eyes on the other side of the room as the other girl pretended not to be sneaking looks at her. “Though, you seemed to have the situation well under control.”

“Well, you know. I do know my way around down there.”

“Yeah, you’re...as Fame said, a sexpert.”

Katya giggled. The color du jour of the group happened to be mint green that day, and it looked hilariously jarring with her omnipresent hooker-red lipstick.

“I mean, when she said that she wouldn’t like getting her pussy eaten, I was like…” Katya shook her head. “That was crazy, right?”

“Well. I don’t exactly know from... first-hand experience. But yeah, I imagine that it’s…good.”

“Uh, yeah. And it’s _really_ good if the person knows what they’re doing, or is just like...very intuitive and enthusiastic. And like, a good listener. In my experience, girls are better.”

“Oh yeah? That’s...um...cool,” Courtney bit her lip nervously, clearing her throat. “I mean, good to know.” As nice as Katya seemed, Courtney didn’t entirely trust any of the Mallrats. Not with personal information, anyway. She was aware of Katya’s eyes still on her, and so she forced out a small chuckle, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Are you flirting with me?” Katya asked, amused.

“No, of course not!” Courtney laughed, rolling her eyes.

“‘Cause I wouldn’t be mad about it,” she winked.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Courtney replied, the two of them giggling as the bell rang.

***

One day, Dela would get her ridiculous compulsion to mother the shit out of basically everyone under control, or at least to a point where it wasn’t annoying as all fuck, but today was apparently not that day. Bianca noted this as she nosed over Dela’s shoulder at her frantic text conversation back and forth with Adore.  

ADORE: _WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING HERE_

DELA: _I felt sorry for her. It’s a long story. Just go with it and try not to be too much of a bitch <3 xx_

Dela hastily stuffed her phone back into her pocket, almost as if she had realized Bianca was spying, before looking to Max and offering a cheerful smile - the other girl awkward and clearly uncomfortable as all hell, sitting with her arms folded and staring at the ground, offering a tight-lipped glance upward in response. Bianca sighed - it felt like the tension between the two of them could be cut with a knife, and being in direct proximity to it felt awful.

Adore, on the other hand, was making no attempt at pleasantries, and that was possibly worse. A twinge of Bianca felt sorry for Max - knowing how much it sucked to be on the receiving end of Adore’s oddly specific derisions. But then, everything that Adore was saying was technically true. She’d been lamenting for a good ten minutes about the fact that Max for Courtney was the exact opposite of a fair trade; most of this being waxing lyrical about how great Courtney was, while also simultaneously rattling about her being a bitch, speckled with a little backhanded cruelty in Max’s direction.

But it was pretty much totally correct - not having Courtney here was fucking garbage. She missed her humor, the way her eyes gleamed when she laughed. She missed feeling her heart skip a few beats every time Court so much as looked in her direction. Hell, she would even take watching Courtney fawning over Adore, tackle-hugging her and kissing her cheeks, if it meant she was actually _there_. (And at least she was used to that, as opposed to watching her giggle with Katya from across the classroom. Bianca hated to admit, even to herself, how bizarrely depressed - but also physically sick with envy - that sight made her.)

Trinity, clearly bored out of her mind of the awkward tension, turned to Max with a raised eyebrow. “So, where you from, bitch?”

Max gave a slightly awkward laugh, speaking slowly as though under the impression that anybody really cared enough for what she was saying to have much gravity.

“Well, I was born in Pasadena, but I-

Trinity cut her off. “Well, why you talk like that, then? You sound like a fuckin twat.” The statement was matter-of-fact and blunt. Max curled her lip.

“I don’t get why you all have to use so much profanity. It’s cheap.”

Bianca rolled her eyes. Now that wasn’t rhetoric she’d ever heard from anybody younger than her mother. “Oh, come on. Just say fuck, it won’t kill you.”

Max shook her head, unwavering. “Profanity just demonstrates a lack of intelligence and limited vocabulary, I-

“Bullshit. I know loads of words and I still prefer ’cunt’.” Adore protested, arms folded. “And I’m smart as fuck.”

“Yeah, smart as fuck!” Gia parroted.

“She’s right - she’s a _total_ genius.” Laganja added, both of them blatantly ass-licking.

Adore continued. “Anyway, this is so not fair. They get Courtney, and we’re stuck with this boring, pretentious, gray-haired loser!” The pretentious factor had really jumped out since breaking off from the Mallrats and (apparently) starting to dress more like herself - Max was decked out in white leather with hideous neon-yellow sunglasses (that probably didn’t do a lot in the way of sun protection) balanced on top of her head, and enormous pendulous earrings made out of the same acridly bright plastic.

Dela turned to Max quickly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “She didn’t mean that.”

“YES I DID!” Adore retorted. Max tossed her hair off of her shoulder, pursing her lips.

“It’s alright, Dela. I know she’s always been vulgar.”

“Go fuck yourself with a floor lamp.” Adore said with a curled lip, before slumping her shoulders and sighing. “This is _so_ unfair. They steal my best friend, and now we’re stuck with fucking low-rent Bella Thorne.”

Max bristled, and Laganja looked up at her like a kicked puppy, saying, “But I thought _I_ was your best friend.”

“You have _got_ to be fucking kidding me.” Adore rolled her eyes, exasperated as she viciously ripped the wrapper off of her candy bar. Apparently, the diet had gone out of the window in light of current circumstances. “Could Violet not have gotten sick of Pearl instead? At least she’s kind of cute. Unlike Miss Muffat here.”

“I have a _name_ , I’d appreciate it if you used it.” Max cut in coldly.

“Whatever.” Adore shrugged, totally blanking her. She was starting to sound like a broken record - repeating what was essentially the same thing over and over, like she was hoping that eventually somebody would start giving a shit. “This was not a fair fucking trade!”

Max decided to take this as an opportunity to pipe up again. She may have been annoying, but Bianca had to admire her persistence in the face of Adore’s wrath. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t exactly want to be here either. Besides, you’ve not made me feel particularly welcome, so-”

“Omigod, remember in fourth grade when you wouldn’t answer to that sub who mispronounced your last name, and then she made you stay in at recess and you cried for three hours?” Adore said viciously through a mouthful of chocolate.

Max folded her arms, receding back into herself.

Bianca sighed. Unfair goddamn trade indeed.  

***

Dela reached out a hand as Courtney entered American Literature, grabbing her by the arm. Courtney turned, a look of confusion on her face.

“Hey, um...can we talk for a minute?”

“Oh, you’re talking to me today! How lovely.”

As Courtney’s confusion melted into disgust, Dela sighed, already feeling how difficult this was going to be.

“Please, Court?”

Courtney crossed her arms, stone-faced.

“Go ahead.”

“Look. I’m...we all...this whole thing has gotten way out of hand. Okay? Let’s just...make it right, and then we can all be friends again.” Dela offered a friendly, hopeful smile to accompany what she knew was a weak pitch.

“And how would you suggest we do that, Dela?” Courtney wasn’t in the mood for making nice. Not yet, anyway. And she was certainly not about to humor Dela, who’d gone right along with ignoring her for over a week. And then had the gall to start this little exchange without the words ‘I’m sorry.’

“Well...you know it’s her birthday this weekend...”

“Yeah.” Courtney raised her eyebrows. “And?”

“Come on, Court. You know all she wants is to have you back in the group. But she thinks you don’t care. That you’re like...loyal to Violet now. And _I_ know that’s not true.”

“Right. So…”

Dela heaved another sigh. She could tell that Courtney was being deliberately obtuse here, and while she understood why, it was highly exasperating nonetheless.

“So, I think it would be a really big deal if you skipped Violet’s party and came to hers. Just, like, show up. And apologize. And then the whole thing can be-”

“So let me get this straight,” Courtney began, brow furrowed. “You want me to get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness? Beg her to be friends with me? After she’s been a complete and total dick all week? Because I _dared_ to have one conversation with Violet? Is that what you’re saying, Dela?”

Dela inhaled deeply, trying to keep her voice calm and even.

“You know that this is about more than one conversation, Court. It’s about loyalty.”

Courtney huffed, rolling her eyes.

“Why are you determined to be so difficult?!” Dela exclaimed.

“Because! This is bullshit! I’ve been ‘loyal’ for years! Longer than any of you. And now suddenly I do one thing that upsets her and she ejects me from the group like a psychopathic dictator? And _every_ single one of you went along with it! Nobody bothered to talk to me, not once! And now suddenly you’re pretending that you care?” Courtney was now fully worked up, cheeks getting red, anger bubbling in her chest.

“Courtney-”

“No. No! I’m not going to bow and scrape at Adore’s feet. No. And by the way, since you guys are so obsessed with loyalty? Maybe you should look it up! Because it’s not just about being a lock-step follower. For your information, the whole reason I was talking to Violet was to try and calm everything down. Which is a hell of a lot more _loyal_ than keeping a stupid fucking feud going.”

“Why haven’t you told her this-” Dela began, sighing.

“I would have, if she’d have talked to me just once over the last week. But instead she has to be a drama queen and a tyrant and you know what? Fuck it. I don’t need her. And I definitely don’t need you.” Courtney whirled around, leaving Dela in the dust as she stormed away.

Dela watched Courtney take a seat beside Trixie, leaning in to whisper to her conspiratorially. For a moment, she felt a pang of guilt, but then she brushed it away. It wasn’t her fault that Courtney chose to dig in her heels over this stupid fight. She’d tried. She had nothing to feel guilty about anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bianca takes matters into her own hands...and ends up with a lot more than she bargained for.   
> AKA: We told you that this wasn’t a slow burn...

Per their annual tradition, Adore’s birthday was a small gathering, just their group, a few pizzas, lots of alcohol, and some weed (Laganja’s standard party offering, which was usually mostly consumed by a combination of Adore, Ganj herself, and Trinity). Also per tradition, Adore had to go on a yearly rant about what a fucking cunt Violet was, intentionally spoiling her birthday by having a huge blowout party on the same night as whatever Adore planned.

Dela and the others were used to it. Even Trinity had heard the spiel twice before. But this was Bianca’s first time. Apparently, every year since 5th grade, Violet had been doing this. For the first few years, Adore just moved her celebration to the weekend before or after, but ever since 8th grade, she’d said fuck it, and used the night to see who her real friends were.

Violet had never been Bianca’s favorite person - what she knew of her, anyway - but this new information solidified her on Team Adore. _What a bitch._

“I mean, what even is her problem!?” Adore demanded, getting right in Max’s face.

“I-I don’t know!” Max sputtered, looking at the others helplessly.

“Man, what’s the use of having a Mallrat around if she can’t even give us info?” Trinity asked.

Laganja laughed and high-fived her, and Gia giggled.

“I’m actually serious.” Trinity turned to Dela. “You brought her over. What is her purpose?”

“To bum. Me. Out!” Adore moaned.

“Maybe...maybe I should go,” said Max, big eyes looking misty, so helpless that Dela, in spite of herself, felt a stab of guilt.

She put a hand on Max’s shoulder, saying quietly, “Look, today is gonna be hard for her. So...just don’t take it personally. I’m glad you’re here.”

Max sniffled, giving her a grateful nod.

Conflict resolution - specifically trying to keep Adore calm, and then scraping her off the ceiling when she eventually flipped out over something-or-other - had apparently been Dela’s designated job at these parties since she was maybe twelve, at least according to what she moaned to Bianca about later on.

“Whatever. I’ve got my eye on you, Maxine Mala-phanana-whatever,” Trinity said, and then made a sudden movement towards Max, who jumped about ten feet. Trinity laughed. “Chillax, dude, I was only kidding.”

“Oh...okay…” Max swallowed and turned back to Adore.“I really am sorry about your birthday,” she said.

“Oh, fuck off!” Adore replied, setting onto the sofa with a sigh.

Bianca’s attention was pulled from their exchange by a soft, evil little snicker beside her. Gia was intently focused on her phone, and it made Bianca nervous.

“Gia, what are you doing?” She craned her neck to have a look, getting a brief glance of devil horns and red eyes scribbled across Violet’s picture.

“Nothing! Just updating my blog!” Gia chirped, batting her lashes. She then produced her phone proudly, showing her handiwork to Adore and Laganja, who burst out laughing.

“Good one, bitch!”

Bianca sighed. She always felt a bit out of place at these parties. Partly because she’d been the last one to join the group (Max didn’t count, not yet), and partly because she felt so unstylish and plain compared to everyone else. Her black leggings and cast t-shirt from Evita, hair in a messy bun, didn’t hold a candle to her eclectic, fashionable friends. First there was Dela in her retro silk pajama set, Adore’s cropped metal tee and boy-short panties, and Trinity in a purple sports bra and black drop-crotch sweats. Team Too Much always looked straight out a glamorous teen movie, in matching Victoria’s Secret camisoles and coordinating velvet shorts. Even Max, in her objectively quite cute, albeit slightly old lady-ish slip nightie, looked good. Bianca’s mind drifted, wondering what Courtney would be wearing if she were here. Certainly something just as chic as everyone else, if not more.

She shook the images out of her mind. _No idle fantasies in mixed company._

Dela tried her best to keep Adore off social media, but around 10:30, she emerged from the bathroom to see her scrolling through Instagram with a forlorn expression.

“Adore, come on. Put that down.”

“No, I wanna see what those cunts are up to,” Adore slurred, holding her phone out of Dela’s reach. “You wanna look too? They’re all a bunch of sluts. Look at this!” Adore showed her a picture from April’s feed, of Violet and Pearl, wearing nothing but skimpy lingerie and cheap wigs, dumb masks over their eyes. Fame looked slightly more respectable. Her blue bra was paired with a tulle skirt and black choker

Dela tilted her head. “Is she supposed to be Cinderella?”

“Who cares,” Adore grumbled, when a picture from Dan caught her eye. It was Courtney, standing between Katya and Trixie. Wearing a bright red wig and a top made of purple seashells. Adore’s eyes bulged, righteous anger bubbling up inside. “That fucking _bitch!_ She _knows_ that mermaids are my thing!”

Adore flung her phone across the room with an enraged shriek. Bianca put an arm around her, trying to empathize, trying to erase the picture of how cute Courtney looked out of her head. Now was not the time for that.

“Maybe...she’s just trying to get your attention?”

“Of _course_ that’s what she’s doing! I fucking _know_ that!” Adore exclaimed. “That doesn’t make it okay!”

Dela sat down on the ottoman in front of her, using special mom powers to soothe her as Bianca’s mind drifted. She had a plan...a plan that had the potential to backfire in a terrible way. She glanced over at her friend, who was clearly still upset, going on and on about Courtney’s general awfulness.

“...and by the way, she was like, seven when she moved here. She only does that accent for attention!”

“I know, I know,” Dela clucked, rubbing her shoulders.

“Girl, just forget her,” Trinity added. “She’s not fucking worth it.”

Bianca swallowed. She was banking on the fact that Courtney _was_ worth it. That her friendship with Adore would be able to weather this storm and maybe even come out stronger, if only someone knew how to wrangle them both.

The first part of her plan was easy. Fake a stomach bug, hop into her brother’s shitbox of a car, and then drive up into Violet’s neighborhood a short distance away - where the bougiest Hillsiders lived, in giant Mediterranean-style villas with the best views in town. She changed quickly in the backseat, into a ninja costume that she hoped would give her enough of a disguise to get into the party without being recognized, and then took a deep breath.

Now, the hard part.

***

Bianca walked through Violet’s house, glad that her face was mostly covered, and that everyone seemed to be pretty hammered. At one point, Pearl looked right at her and kind of tilted her head in recognition, but she quickly dashed down a hallway. Where the fuck was Courtney, anyway?

She finally spotted her, leaning on a banister talking to some asshole in a football helmet. (Quite the creative costume on him.) Courtney, for her part, seemed to be greatly enjoying tossing that red hair over her shoulder, simpering at him like a drunken idiot.

In person, her costume was even more scandalous than it looked in the picture. More body glitter than fabric, with a skimpy bra that barely covered her and a shiny green skirt that was paper-thin and partially transparent, slit all the way up to her hip - Bianca took a deep breath as she approached.

“I need to talk to you,” Bianca hissed into Courtney’s ear, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her into the nearest bedroom, a cotton candy pink abomination that clearly belonged to Violet’s younger sister.

“Hey!”

Bianca slammed the door behind them, locking it and turning to Courtney with a furrowed brow. At that moment, Courtney’s face lit up in a drunken grin of recognition, and she threw her arms around Bianca’s neck, pulling her mask down.

“B! Oh my god, fiiiinally,” she cooed, parted lips heading for Bianca’s, eyes falling closed.

Bianca grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her backwards.

“Excuse me, I didn’t come here, risking my life out there, for your drunken, bicurious bullshit! I came here to talk some fucking sense into you. These girls are just _using_ you, they aren’t your friends, I should never have told you to--wait, what do you mean _finally?_ ” It felt like the wheels were turning awfully slowly.

Courtney giggled and walked her fingers up Bianca’s arm.

“Come on, B, loosen up. It’s a party.”

“Yeah, well, I know that you love to do this to like, impress boys, or whatever, but that’s not why I’m here.”

“Do you see any boys in here?” Courtney asked, fluttering her lashes. “‘Cause I don’t…”

“How drunk are you right now?” Bianca asked, irritated.

“Drunk enough to tell you that you look hot in black, and I really like that lipstick, but I’d like it better all over my face…” Courtney leaned in again.

“Stop it!” Bianca exclaimed, shoving her back harder this time, panic setting in.

Courtney paused, swallowing, suddenly chagrined.

“Okay. I’m sorry, I just…” Her head felt a little fuzzy as she tried to explain, hoping that Bianca wasn’t angry. “I like you, B. I mean I thought that was pretty fucking obvious, since I’ve been throwing myself at you all year. And I kind of got the sense that maybe you liked me too. I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

Bianca, who’d been pacing around the room as Courtney spoke, sat down on the bed.

“This isn’t why I came,” she repeated, shaking her head.

“Okay. I get it! I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad, okay? I’ve already lost enough friends and you-”

Courtney suddenly stopped talking. Bianca was just staring at her with a blank expression. She sighed, defeated, eyes filling with tears, and turned to leave, muttering another apology.

“Wait,” Bianca said.

Every cell in Bianca’s body was screaming at her to stop. This wasn’t the plan. The plan was to finish high school without ever risking getting her heart fucking shattered. To deny, deny, deny so no one would have the opportunity to reject her. The plan was to just be fucking chill. And if she confessed what she was about to confess, then all of that was out the window.

But the truth was, she wanted so badly to be honest. She swallowed, hating the injured look in Courtney’s green eyes. For the first time, she dared to believe that maybe... _maybe_ Courtney would understand how she felt.

“...Yeah?” Courtney blinked, waiting.

“You’re not wrong. But...I just didn’t plan on ever admitting it out loud to you. Okay?” Bianca looked down.

Courtney didn’t move for a long moment, then walked over to join her on the bed, sitting down gingerly beside her.

“Why not?” she asked softly. She knew not to push too hard - couldn’t shake the feeling that she was on very thin ice. One wrong move and she might destroy everything.

“Uh, because then you would know?” Bianca rolled her eyes.

“But why didn’t you want me to know?” Courtney asked with a slight chuckle.

“Because you couldn’t possibly…” Bianca looked down again. “I was 100% certain that you’d never feel the same way.”

“You really didn’t know how I felt?” Courtney asked, incredulous. “I’ve been literally flirting with you nonstop all year.”

“You flirt with everyone.”

“Fair point,” Courtney laughed. “But...it’s different with you,” she added, moving closer, heart rate picking up. “Isn’t it?”

“You actually like me?” Bianca’s fingers were inches from Courtney’s. The heat rising to her cheeks made her feel clumsy and awkward and _wrong_.

“Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

“Because…you’re like...you. Bouncy and happy and perfect, and, and besides, you like _boys_.” Bianca said this as if it was painfully obvious.

"And?"

"And so why are you saying that you like me?!"

"Because I _do_." Courtney was starting to get a little exasperated by this circular conversation.

"You're not making any sense. You’re not gay. You like boys. So how do you like me?"

"How do you have any fun with such rigid rules about human behavior?" Courtney asked with a coy tilt of her head.

"Courtney. Please."

"I like boys, sometimes. So I guess...I’m not gay. I don’t really know what I am. But I know that I like you...a lot. Ever since last year, when we went to see you in _Evita_. You were so fucking gorgeous up there, and so talented, and I, actually stopped breathing a few times, watching you...you’re the reason I even tried out for _Wicked_.”

Bianca chuckled.

“Come on…”

“It’s true! I just wanted to spend more time with you. And then Dela got hurt, and I was secretly happy, which I know makes me kind of a shitty person, but...I really liked being onstage with you.”

“Me too,” Bianca admitted.

Courtney took a deep breath and moved even closer. Now that their legs were touching, Bianca inhaled sharply.

“Plus you’re hilarious, and smart, and I was so thrilled when you started hanging out with us, and...I don’t know, I just think you’re amazing.”

“You’re amazing,” Bianca said, cheeks burning up now, and getting hotter by the second.

“So…”

Bianca’s heart raced. Was this really her life? Was this really happening? All thoughts of why she’d originally come, of repairing the rift between Courtney and Adore, all of it flew right out the window as she looked into Courtney’s soft eyes.

In a weird way, she felt compelled to pinch herself and check she wasn’t actually stuck in some kind of vivid daydream back in Adore’s room thanks to the second-hand weed smoke. And in entirely another, she almost didn’t want this moment to end - because if it went any further, there was some kind of chance that things would fuck up. But right here, in this space between confession and whatever came next, she was so close to her ridiculous fantasy that she could practically taste it, and it was beautiful, but it was agony at the same time. The whole thing was like the worst possible sort of ecstasy.

“So…” Bianca managed to breathe, voice barely audible. The tips of Courtney’s fingers rested on her leg, tapping a delicate pattern on her thigh, and now that she knew what Court actually - apparently - meant by the action, she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“Would it be okay if I kissed you now? You know, even though there’s no boys watching?” Courtney asked, nose wrinking in the cutest little way.

Dimples appeared in Bianca’s cheeks as she took Courtney’s face in her hands, whispering, “Shut up.”

“Make me,” was the teasing reply.

Bianca’s heart was by pounding so loud now that she was sure Courtney could hear it. Courtney began to lean in, and Bianca stared at her, wide-eyed, as their lips met.

Her mouth was soft and warm, lips parted. Bianca cupped her cheeks, savoring every moment. Sparks rippled through her body, making her feel more alive than she’d ever felt. Then Courtney’s fingers gripped her thigh tighter and she thought she might pass out. The tequila fumes on Courtney’s breath lingered on her tongue, and Bianca felt compelled to lick her lips, but didn’t for fear of wiping the taste away, because that would mean losing the last few traces of what had just happened. She wished she could spend her life feeling how she felt in that precise second.

Courtney lifted her head, looking into Bianca’s eyes with a dreamy expression. Bianca’s thumb brushed against her lips. Courtney reached up to sweep the red hair off of her face, Bianca watching how she moved and trying to memorize it - determined to save as much of this moment as she could. Just in case it was all she got.

“Well, you were right. It really does look good all over your face,” Bianca whispered, and they both giggled.

“Maybe we should-” Courtney stopped abruptly, eyes wide, as loud banging sounded at the door.

_“COURTNEY! ARE YOU IN THERE?!”_


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an unceremonious interruption, Courtney manages to sneak away to talk to Bianca about what happened.

_“COURTNEY! ARE YOU IN THERE?!”_ Violet’s voice called, accompanied by her fist pounding on the door.

“Shit…”

Bianca looked around the room, panicked, and then, without thinking, made a beeline for the window, throwing it open. 

“What are you-” Courtney ran after her as the pounding continued.

_“YOU BETTER NOT BE FUCKING SOME GUY IN MY SISTER’S BED! COURTNEY!”_

“Just a second, Violet!”

Bianca dove out the window, falling into some bushes as Courtney gasped. 

“Omigod, are you okay?!”

“Fine,” Bianca called weakly. Courtney tossed her one more concerned look before walking over to slowly and calmly open the door, wiping as much of the lipstick from her mouth as possible.

 _“Courtney, I swear to Christ, you better…”_ Violet paused, looking around the room. “I thought you had a guy in here? Who was it? And where is he?” 

“Uh...he...is uh, from St. Andrews Prep, I didn’t catch his name. He jumped out the window when you started yelling. I guess some guys scare easy,” Courtney laughed nervously, adjusting her red wig that had been pulled askew.

“Hmm, what a douche,” Violet said. “Well, come on, I need you for group pictures.” She took Courtney’s hand and tugged her down the hall, quickly gathering together the rest of the princesses.

Thrusting her phone into Kyle’s hands, Violet began to arrange the group to her liking. There was a moment of tension when she made Fame switch places with Courtney.

“But I _always_ stand on your right!” Fame whined, shooting Courtney an angry glare. 

“Yeah, but Courtney’s shorter, she needs to be in front. Don’t be fucking difficult.” Violet slung an arm around Courtney’s waist and began to pose, ignoring the irritated huff from Fame. 

“Should I take more than one?” Kyle asked.

“Of course, you fucking idiot!” Violet answered, tossing the black hair over her shoulder, instructing the group, “Give your sexiest poses, bitches! And Trixie, remember to suck in.” 

Courtney tried to care about the pictures, but all she could think about was Bianca, wishing that they were back in each other’s arms. If she closed her eyes, she could still taste her, feel her plush lips, and Courtney’s whole body tingled with the memory. The phone buzzed in her little fish-shaped clutch and her heart leapt with anticipation.

_BIANCA: Sorry I panicked_

_COURTNEY: It’s okay. I miss you though. I’m here in a sea of drunken assholes. Where did you go?_

_BIANCA: I’m in the car, around the corner_

_BIANCA: Wait...sea? Was that a pun?_

_COURTNEY: LOL, coming_

***

Bianca smiled as Courtney got into the car, stomach feeling fluttery and slightly nervous. Courtney smiled back, batting her lashes, and then lunged forward, hands grasping Bianca’s cheeks.

“Where were we?” she murmured, pressing her lips to Bianca’s.

It took Bianca a few moments to get her bearings, and she pushed Courtney away slightly by the shoulders, regret all over her face.

“I’m sorry, I just...” she stopped, trying to catch her breath.

“What’s wrong?” Courtney’s face fell, terrified that she’d done something wrong. 

“I think we should...talk about this. Just...to make sure we’re both…” Bianca bit her lip.

Courtney nodded in agreement, elbow resting on the center console. 

“I’m worried, about what will happen if...if everyone finds out about it.” Bianca looked down. The unspoken truth, that she was worried about _Adore_ finding out, hung in the air.

“Right.” Courtney couldn’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment. It felt like she’d been waiting so long for Bianca to return her feelings, and now she couldn’t even enjoy it properly. 

“I mean, they don’t know I’m here. I thought that I could convince you to come back to Adore’s, but…”

The look on Courtney’s face told Bianca that her original plan was deeply out of the question.

“I’m sorry, B,” she said, looking away for a moment.

“No, it’s...I’m sorry.”

“If it were just Adore, then...I could handle that. But, all of them-” Courtney looked down. 

“I know,” Bianca said, covering Courtney’s hand with hers. “I hate this. I feel so guilty every time they-”

“You don’t have to feel guilty.” Courtney climbed over the gear shift, into Bianca’s lap. For no other reason than an overwhelming need to be close to her.

“But I do. It would be different if I had…” Bianca took a deep breath. “It would be different if I had other friends, besides them. But, you know I don’t. And besides, I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“Of course not. Me neither,” Courtney said softly, running a finger along the shell of Bianca’s ear, making it exceedingly difficult for her to remember what she was trying to say.

“And...um...also...I mean, it’s not like Violet is going to welcome someone like me with open arms. Right?”

Courtney bit her lip, regretfully admitting that Bianca was right. Frankly, she was surprised at how easily the Mallrats accepted her, but she was pretty sure, if she really thought about it, that being a petite blonde Hillsider with a credit card, who Violet could play Barbie with, was about 80% of the reason. The other 20% was the fact that it was guaranteed to drive Adore crazy. Bianca was a different story. 

“I just can’t forget what it was like before I had you guys to hang out with,” Bianca said. “It fucking sucked. And I don’t want to go back to that. So I...I think we should just keep things between us.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Courtney said, smiling slightly. So, there would be no shouting about her and Bianca from the rooftops. At least, not yet. She could live with that. “To be honest...it might even be kind of hot.”

“Hot?” Bianca raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, like...a secret affair.” Courtney grinned wickedly, both of her arms snaking around Bianca’s shoulders. If they were going to hide out in the closet, at least they could make it fun.

“So, you’re not mad?”

“Uh-uh,” Courtney said, shaking her head, moving her lips closer to Bianca’s.

“Great.” Bianca let out a soft sigh of relief as Courtney’s mouth found hers, the gentle pressure of her lips somehow even more delicious now than it had been earlier. As her anxiety dissipated, Bianca felt lighter, almost dizzy. 

Courtney’s hands were in her hair now, and when her fingers tightened, Bianca let out a whimper. Emboldened, Courtney tugged a little, loving the breathy sigh against her mouth as Bianca responded to her touch.

Bianca could feel herself getting more and more excited, and wondered if she’d ever come down from this high. Her fingers explored the soft skin on Courtney’s back, digging into her waist when she felt teeth bite gently on her lower lip.

“Oh, _shit_ ,” she moaned, heat rising to her cheeks when Courtney giggled against her mouth. She pulled back. “Sorry, I’m just a little…”

But Courtney was gazing at her, eyes shining happily. 

“What are you apologizing for? Being cute and sexy?” Courtney fluttered her lashes, and Bianca cleared her throat, still a little embarrassed.

“Don’t...don’t say stuff like that,” Bianca said, dimples appearing in her cheeks as she failed to suppress her grin.

“Why? It’s true.”

Bianca lowered her eyes, chuckling a little.

“This is so not how I imagined tonight going.”

Courtney tilted her head.

“Are you disappointed?”

“Shut up,” Bianca laughed.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Courtney said, before taking a deep breath and glancing back towards Violet’s house with a small groan.

“Do you have to go back?”

“Yeah. I mean, if I don’t want them to get suspicious. Honestly, I wouldn’t care that they know, except that if Violet knows, she’ll _absolutely_ tell Adore, which would be…”

“Horrible?” Bianca mused.

“Catastrophic,” Courtney agreed, sighing.

“So...then I guess I have to let you go now?”

Courtney nodded, stroking Bianca’s cheek with her fingers, pressing their foreheads together.

“Goodnight, B,” she said, making no move to leave.

“‘Night,” Bianca whispered back, brushing her lips against Courtney’s.

***

_COURTNEY: You free Friday?_

_BIANCA: For you? Always_

_COURTNEY: Wanna come over after play practice? You can spend the night._

_BIANCA: Sounds great :)_

_COURTNEY: <3_


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just two girls, having a casual sleepover. Nothing special...;)

“So...what do you wanna do?” Courtney asked, leaning on the arm of the sofa. 

What she wanted? What she wanted to do was fling Courtney down onto the cushions and kiss her until neither of them could breathe. 

“Um…” Bianca cleared her throat. “Whatever you want.”

Bianca had just arrived at Courtney’s house, stomach turning in somersaults, as nervous as she’d ever been. The school week had seemed to drag on endlessly, Bianca thinking of nothing but this moment when they could be together again - and now that it was happening, she wasn’t sure that she was ready. 

“We could watch some TV?” Courtney suggested.

“Sure,” Bianca agreed, exhaling a bit. She put down her backpack and settled onto the sofa, a thrill rippling through her when Courtney sat right beside her, close enough that their arms brushed together every time she moved. 

If you’d offered Bianca ten million dollars to remember what was playing on the screen, she’d probably die poor. Because every molecule of her body was hyperfocused on Courtney. Her long legs stretched out and resting on the ottoman. Her cheek against Bianca’s shoulder. The scent of her hair. The warmth from her body, especially once she spread a blanket over their laps. Her fingers, inching towards Bianca’s own hand and then lacing together. 

She was used to feeling all of these things when they were together, but she wasn’t used to the lack of shame, the lack of fear. Usually most of her mental energy centered on self-loathing, on worrying that her heart was beating too fast and that she’d be discovered.

All of that was gone now, and for the first time since the crush hit her, she was able to relax and enjoy all of the sensations racing around her body, the dizzying happiness of being close and finally allowed to feel every single thing she felt.

Bianca squeezed Courtney’s hand, watching the smile spread across her face as she snuggled closer.

Courtney had previously been the one to initiate things, and so for a moment, Bianca had a flash of fear that maybe her romantic feelings had dissipated. Maybe she just wanted Bianca’s friendship - which would be understandable, given her current situation. Was Bianca misreading her signals, yet again? Was this just Courtney’s usual need for affection? Bianca closed her eyes, mind spinning, and took a breath, summoning all her courage.

“I really...I really want to kiss you,” Bianca said softly.

Courtney’s grin deepened.

“Go ahead,” she said, with a coy tilt of her head.

Bianca leaned forward, pressing their lips together. Courtney let out the sweetest little sigh as she wound her hands into Bianca’s thick hair, pulling her closer. Heat pooled in Bianca’s belly as Courtney’s tongue found hers, hot and soft and wet and Bianca began to get light-headed from the electricity racing down her spine. 

Bianca’s arms were around Courtney’s waist, fingers digging into the small of her back, and she was so delirious that she barely heard Courtney murmur, “You taste so good…”

“Mmmm…” was all Bianca could manage as she continued to kiss her, inhaling sharply when Courtney’s weight shifted into her lap, straddling her. Her head fell back against the cushion, eyes closed, as Courtney trailed kisses down her jaw to her throat. Her entire body pulsed with the frantic beat of her heart.

“I was so scared,” Courtney whispered into her skin. “All week, that you’d change your mind.”

Bianca’s eyes opened slowly and she cupped Courtney’s face with her hand. 

“Are you serious? You thought that I would change _my_ mind?”

Courtney nodded, and Bianca pressed their foreheads together. 

“Shit. I thought...I worried about the same thing,” Bianca admitted.

Courtney giggled.

“I guess we’re both kind of…”

“Stupid?”

“I was gonna say paranoid, but that works too,” Courtney laughed, moving in for another kiss. 

Bianca closed her eyes, savoring the taste of her. Feeling an ache building inside her core. Before long, their body heat under the blanket began to make Bianca feel lightheaded. 

“B, do you wanna…uhh...”

“Yeah?”

“Do you wanna go upstairs?”

Bianca broke away, gulping for air. She did. She very, very much did want to “go upstairs,” but she also knew how easy it would be for things to move faster than she was prepared for. Especially in this moment, when her body felt like a runaway train about to go off the rails.

“Um.”

“We don’t have to. I was just-”

“No, um...the thing is, I...I do want to. But…” Bianca chewed on her lip, trying to put her conflicted desires into words, to think over the pounding of her heart. “Um…”

“Maybe...we should slow things down a little?” Courtney suggested, and Bianca let out a deep sigh of relief.

“Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I just...um, I don’t…”

Courtney placed a kiss on the tip of Bianca’s nose.

“You’re so cute,” she said, grinning.

“Shut up,” Bianca said, looking away.

Courtney moved off her lap and settled into a cross-legged position beside her on the sofa. 

“Are you hungry?” She gestured to a tray of snacks that Bianca had previously failed to notice, being so utterly enamored with her company. 

“Uh...sure...but what the fuck is that?” She wrinkled her nose as Courtney picked up a bowl.

“They’re puffed chickpeas.”

“That sounds disgusting.”

“They’re good!” Courtney insisted, giggling. “There’s also fruit. Do you like mango?”

“What kind of freak doesn’t like mango?” Bianca asked, picking up the bowl of fruit. 

“I don’t know! What kind of freak doesn’t like chickpeas?! Careful, it’s spicy,” Courtney warned.

“Please,” Bianca said, rolling her eyes, tasting a piece. It had been seasoned with cayenne pepper, lime and salt, and Courtney had been quite generous with the pepper. Bianca coughed. “Shit.”

“Told ya.”

“I’m just not used to seasoning at white people’s houses.”

“I’m gonna take that as a compliment!” Courtney sang, taking a piece of mango from the bowl and settling against her with a contented sigh.

“So...how are your new best friends?” Bianca asked.

Courtney chuckled drily.

“I mean...they aren’t that bad, actually. You know, I’ve known Katya since I moved here in second grade, and I honestly never knew how funny she is. Funny and kind of deep.”

“ _Katya_ is deep?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“We’re talking about Queen of Blowjobs Katya, right?” Bianca raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“Yeah!” Courtney giggled. “I always thought she was an airhead but I think, actually, her mind just works a little differently. She’s actually kind of an existential genius.”

“If you say so…” Bianca said.

Courtney laid her head on Bianca’s shoulder, playing gently with her fingers.

“I mean, I obviously miss you guys, but...it’s nice to have a connection with someone, you know? I feel like we’ve really bonded.”

Bianca nodded, feeling a slight pang of jealousy. Made worse by the image of Courtney and Katya’s heads close together in chemistry class, giggling and teasing each other.

“I’m happy for you.” The white lie was a little easier when lips brushed against her collarbone. Her arm tightened around Courtney’s waist, eyes fluttering closed.

“What about you guys?” Courtney murmured. “Anything exciting happening?”

“Uh...Dela’s getting a new car.”

“Wow, no more Mom-Mobile?”

“The end of an era.” Bianca laughed.

After a pause, Courtney asked softly, “...Does anyone miss me?”

“Of course. We all do.” Bianca brushed the hair out of her eyes.

“Even Adore?” 

“Especially Adore. She’s been a cranky bitch without you.”

“Is it bad that that makes me a little bit happy?” Courtney asked.

“Nah...come here.” Bianca pulled her close, wrapping the blanket around both of them.

***

Bianca emerged from the bathroom, teeth brushed and dressed in her PJs, to find Courtney already settling into her bed. She had a brief moment of uncertainty before moving towards the second twin bed.

“That bed has a shit mattress,” Courtney said, and Bianca turned around with a sheepish expression. 

“I just...um…”

“B, listen. I’m not gonna pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do. But I happen to be a champion snuggler. For the record.”

“I already knew that,” Bianca said, dimples appearing in her cheeks.

“Well...just wanted you to know that you’ve got an open invitation.” Courtney settled down against the pillows.

Bianca hesitated. She wanted to join her, but could she trust herself? They’d shared a bed before, and it had been hell. And now, it was the exact opposite, an entirely different sort of hell...her mind reeled with the possibilities. 

But seeing Courtney’s hair spread out on the pillow, her eyes fluttering closed...Bianca suddenly realized that she’d kick herself someday for missing this chance to be close to her. So she walked toward her and sat down on the bed, and after another moment of consideration, slipped under the covers, turning so that her back was to Courtney. That felt safe. Unassuming.

Courtney wrapped her arms around Bianca’s waist, letting out a cute little giggle.

“Awww...you’re gonna be my little spoon?”

“Is that okay with you?” Bianca asked.

“Perfect,” Courtney said, burying her face into Bianca’s thick hair and sighing. “God, how do you smell so good?”

“Well, my sister spends most of her allowance in Lush. And I steal it. Reparations for putting up with her shit.”

“Perfect,” Courtney murmured again.

Bianca took a deep breath. Somehow, she’d always imagined that being with Courtney would be an insane roller-coaster. Exciting, sure, but full of games and surprises and always needing to be on the edge of her seat. But this feeling, being wrapped in her arms, pressed against the warmth of her body...it was just utter contentment, more than Bianca could ever remember experiencing. Champion snuggler, indeed. As she began to relax into sleep, her last thought was simply one of peace.

***

Bianca’s eyes opened slowly, a smile spreading across her face as she remembered where she was, and who’s warm body was curled up behind her, hands still laced with her own. She brought Courtney’s fingers up to her lips and pressed a soft kiss to the back of her hand.

Behind her, Courtney shifted slightly, letting out a low chuckle and pulling her closer.

“Good morning…”

“Hi,” Bianca replied, closing her eyes again as Courtney kissed her cheek, leaning over to nuzzle against her.

“How was your night?”

“Um...pretty good.”

“Just _pretty_ good?” Courtney asked teasingly.

Bianca cleared her throat.

“It was...incredible.” Bianca felt the familiar heat rising to her cheeks. She still hadn’t quite trained her body not to react to Courtney with embarrassment. 

Courtney giggled and leaned down for a slow, luxurious kiss.

“And also, I’m really hot,” Bianca said against her mouth.

“I’ll say,” Courtney replied, throwing a leg over her.

“No, I mean like...do you always sleep with 5 blankets? I’m roasting in here.”

“Oh.” Courtney threw off the covers and sat firmly on top of her. “Better?”

Bianca swallowed, nodding, as Courtney smiled down at her, eyes soft and shining.

“We can negotiate the blanket situation next time,” she said, running her fingers through Bianca’s hair.

“Right. Next time.” Just the thought of ‘next time’ was enough to fill Bianca with elation, as she wrapped her arms around Courtney’s waist and sighed.

 


End file.
